Who said it?

[brennan.]

I love a good quote. Whether it's a delicately nuanced collection of words uttered by an eccentric genius or simply a clever and hilarious one liner from a Chris Rock live show. It's all good and it's all welcome here.

I'll start. This is one of my favorites for motivation.

"Time only points us in the right direction. It will never make you move on your own"
-Corey Taylor

[cs123]

Stupid people are too stupid to know they're stupid.
-John Cleese

I've actually subscribed to this theory for a long time

http://geekologie.com/2014/12/john-c...d-people-a.php

[JC]

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

Women - can't live with 'em, can't be heterosexual without 'em.

Both attributed to Homer (not the greek dude, the Simpson dude)

[Tonz]

anything by Prince Phillip... I'll get some of his quotes tomorrow off the big 'puter

[Ross 1]

Some men play hard to get, I play hard to want- Emo Philips

[GasoLane]

Any page of any Terry Pratchett book.

https://www.google.com.au/search?q=p...w=1920&bih=944

[CoupeKing]

Glory is fleeting but obscurity is eternal - Napoleon

[Geez Louise]

An Eye for an Eye, makes the whole world blind - Gandhi

Firecrackers...the silent killer - Troy McClure - The Simpsons

It's always in the last place you look! - Said by every Grandma EVERYWHERE!

Don't pull that face, the wind will change and it will stay that way - said by every mum EVERYWHERE!


Cheers
Col

[MDS69]

That there is Cundalini... and Cundalini wants his hand back!

[JAJH]

It's better to remain silent and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

[Charliewool]

Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills first...
(My Mum when I was a young un and whining about not being allowed to do or have something)

[superyob]

'Right and wrong were worked out long ago...' Homer, ancient Greek historian...

[gossy]

Serenity now......................... Frank Costanza

[Marquis]

"No Soup for You" The Soup Nazi. Seinfeld

[Revolver]

Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into Jet engines. - Unknown.

That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced, you actually look stupid. - Unknown.

If your going to be a pig, go the whole Hog. - unknown.

A problem shared, is a problem halved. So is the problem yours? Or half of someone else's? - Still unknown.

I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, but it was someone bringing me more work. Also unknown.

Accept that somedays you are the pigeon and somedays you are the statue. -You guessed it. Unknown.

[Franco Cozzo]

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there is a picture with a quote under it" - Abraham Lincoln

[Moby Vic]

"Enthusiasm cannot be pickled like herrings."--Otto von Bismarck

[superroo]

"In Hollywood, people like that are called; Unrealistic, Quixotic, Obsessive.
In my world, they're called Browncoats"
Joss Whedon

[Tonz]

Prince Phillip love the ole geezer

After being told that Madonna was singing the Die Another Day theme in 2002: “Are we going to need ear plugs?”

To a car park attendant who didn’t recognise him in 1997, he snapped: “You bloody silly fool!”

To Simon Kelner, republican editor of The Independent, at Windsor Castle reception: “What are you doing here?” “I was invited, sir.” Philip: “Well, you didn’t have to come.”

After accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991: “Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species.”

To multi-ethnic Britain’s Got Talent 2009 winners Diversity: “Are you all one family?”

To President of Nigeria, who was in national dress, 2003: “You look like you’re ready for bed!”

To deaf children by steel band, 2000: “Deaf? If you’re near there, no wonder you are deaf.”

To a tourist in Budapest in 1993: “You can’t have been here long, you haven’t got a pot belly.”

To a British trekker in Papua New Guinea, 1998: “You managed not to get eaten then?”



16 To Atul Patel at reception for influential Indians, 2009: “There’s a lot of your family in tonight.”

Peering at a fuse box in a Scottish factory, he said: “It looks as though it was put in by an Indian.” He later backtracked: “I meant to say cowboys.”

To Lockerbie residents after plane bombing, 1993: “People say after a fire it’s water damage that’s the worst. We’re still drying out Windsor Castle.”

In Canada in 1976: “We don’t come here for our health.”

“I never see any home cooking – all I get is fancy stuff.” 1987

On the Duke of York’s house, 1986: “It looks like a tart’s bedroom.”

“We go into the red next year... I shall have to give up polo.” 1969.

At party in 2004: “Bugger the table plan, give me my dinner!”

To a woman solicitor, 1987: “I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.”

To a civil servant, 1970: “You’re just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don’t trust me and I don’t trust you.”

[Stefan]

A car related one I got from an engine builder

You have three choices, you can have fast, reliable and cheap. But you can only pick two.

[ford71V8]

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
John Lennon, 1980

[Sioso]

James May - Top Gear

"Its an ingenious solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place".

[Ross 1]

Over steer is when you hit the wall with the back of the car
Under steer is when you hit the wall with the front of the car
Speed is how fast you hit the wall
Torque is how far you take the wall with you. Anon

[brennan.]

Originally Posted by cs123

Stupid people are too stupid to know they're stupid.
-John Cleese

I've actually subscribed to this theory for a long time

http://geekologie.com/2014/12/john-c...d-people-a.php

Another gem from Mr Cleese,

"Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted"

[Loonar]

Shop assistants quote : " We're not happy 'till you're not happy " !!

[brett4777]

love the Seinfeld quotes

Hoochie mamma, Frank Costanza. my boys are out there Jerry. Cosmo Kramer.

[Revolver]

"The customer is always right"

I only like this one because it's completely the opposite.... And when you've worked in retail, you'll understand.

[creative]

Originally Posted by Revolver

"The customer is always right"

I only like this one because it's completely the opposite.... And when you've worked in retail, you'll understand.

I prefer... "the customer just thinks their right"



One that I have believed in for many years and no idea who said it...

" There are no problems in life..... just situations we haven't found a solution too yet"

helped me many times has that one.

[brennan.]

When I was an apprentice the panel shop foreman told me "if you can see what you've done, you've done it wrong"

[Maka]

From Forbes top 100 inspirational quotes -

The mind is everything. What you think you become. – Buddha

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. – John Lennon

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. – Chinese Proverb

Eighty percent of success is showing up. – Woody Allen

cheer's, Maka