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#1 | ||
lance
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Auckland, NZ
Posts: 509
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I am writing to see if anyone here has experienced the death of their baby.
My wife and I lost our little girl on Friday night, she was stillborn and couldnt be resuscitated.. Funeral is tomorrow and I wanted to get other peoples perspectives on this whole situation.
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1971 XY GTHO replica electric blue 4spd black trim Sold 1984 XE Esp Fairmont Ghia 6cyl Sold 1984 Xe Fairmont Ghia 6cyl Efi Sold 1966 Xp deluxe sedan Sold Mk2 escort sedan 1600 Sold Mk3 cortina 2 litre Sold 1975 Xb Falcon 500 250/ column auto 94000 kms Current |
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#2 | ||
The one and only
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Carrum Downs, Victoria
Posts: 9,053
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I haven't, but very sorry to hear of your loss.
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1992 DC LTDHO 360rwkw built by me Tuned by CVE Performance Going of the rails on a crazy train Other cars include Dynamic ED Sprint, Dynamic DL LTD, Sparkling Burgundy DL LTD, Yellow, Red & Blue XB sedan & Black XB Coupe
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#3 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 545
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So sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine your pain.
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#4 | ||
Rob
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Woodcroft S.A.
Posts: 21,508
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i have 2 daughters, 11 and 3. the reason there is an 8 yr gap is not through lack of trying. my wife had 6 or 7 miscarraiges in the meantime. obviously she really wanted a 2nd child otherwise we would have given up.
miscarraiges are probably not as traumatic as a stillborn but it was still very tough, esp the first one. sorry for your loss. one thing people used to say to us was its natures way of saying something wasn't quite right. probably doesn't make you feel any better though. |
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#5 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 292
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Really sad news mate.
Sorry for your loss. I lost a sister as my mum fell down the steps in the house back in teh day. Very very sad :( |
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#6 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: May 2006
Location: In my happy place
Posts: 5,432
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Mate, the only kids Ive lost were at the shops (but dont tell my wife)
man I can only imagian what you and your wife are going through right now and I wouldnt wish that on any one. I'm not sure whats available in NZ but in NSW there is a help group spacificaly designed for greiving parrents in this situation, dont be to tuff to look into it man
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Pariahs C.C. What could possibly go wrong I post images with postimg.cc (so I don’t forget) |
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#7 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: launceston TAS
Posts: 1,847
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We were only talking about this today at work and how i couldn't handle it if it happened to me.
So so sorry to here mate i have 4 kids and couldn't imagine going through what you guys are. That's horrible. i really hope you guy's are ok and manage to get through it. ( easier i mean ) |
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#8 | |||
Pity the fool
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Wait Awhile
Posts: 8,997
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Quote:
I couldn't begin to imagine how I would feel if I lost my little man (5 months) let alone be in your shoes. We're all parents now and we can talk to each other about these things whatever they are, we might not be psychologists but we're willing to listen. Keep your chin up.
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Fords I own or have owned: 1970 XW Falcon GT replica ![]() Proud to buy Australian and support Ford Australia through thick and thin |
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#9 | ||
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Gods Country
Posts: 16,258
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Yes Lance i have ...he suffered a Dyafragmatic Hernia... many years ago now , i occasionaly think about getting his name tattooed on my heart... My thought's are with you and your family.
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#10 | ||
FORD FREAK
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rockhampton
Posts: 1,750
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Makes me sick to think about and also teary. My condolances to you and your family, would be the hardest thing to go through in life. My wife has 9weeks of pregancy left and as exciting as it is I am also trying not to get hopes up to high. To many people go through this heart breaking experience. All the best mate and stick together.
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JUST LOVE THAT V8 SOUND, RUMBLE, MUSIC! |
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#11 | ||
64 Deluxe 4 door
![]() Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius
Posts: 10,339
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Very sad news mate. Hopefully you and the bride can go on, and dont be afraid to ask for help. We lost our first child through miscarriage. I often wonder what might have been
Make sure you keep a lock of hair to remember her by again, very sorry for your loss
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XM Deluxe FG XR50 BA Pursuit Ute |
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#12 | ||
777
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Neutral Bay, NSW. Born and Bred in the RSA!
Posts: 8,464
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Very sorry to hear about your loss Lance.
Stay strong mate no matter how difficult it may seem.
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It's Good To Be Back. Race 2 Clipsal 500 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NOZvWBp4Eo "I plucked her into first, gave it some jandal and F@#$ Yeah!" - Scott McLaughlin |
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#13 | ||
XD Sundowner
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: moranbah
Posts: 1,078
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Lance , a lot of people on these forums helped me grieve , when I lost my little girl 3 years ago , its a thing you will have to deal with for the rest of your life . Not a day goes by that she's not on. my mind ...my condolences to you and your wife .pm meif you need to talk to a stranger .
Held my little girl for 4 hours before she became my little angel ... hardest thing I have ever done ...your not alone ...big family right here mate .
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something old something blue |
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#14 | |||
Miami Pilot
![]() Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ACT
Posts: 21,701
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Quote:
To answer your question - Yep. 1993. Little boy stillborn at 17 weeks. Small, red, opaque, but looked perfectly formed. We lost him 3 weeks after a car accident - Ultrasound at the time showed no damage with healthy heartbeat etc, but seems the placenta bled and died, taking baby with it. That was our first child - I still remember him; got to hold him in my palm, name him, and say good bye to him. Was very hard at the time, but we got through it eventually. We then tried for 10 years "naturally" (with an ectopic in there as well), and finally had twins via IVF 10 years later, and then a natural 20 months after that. Not that the kids we have now replace the first - nothing can; but it makes you appreciate them more when you've had adversity getting them in the first place. The thing we learned is that whatever your partner is feeling is what he/she is feeling - don't be angry at it, or belittle it, or feel like they shouldn't be feeling like that; it takes time to heal, and each person heals in their own time. The most important thing you can do is support each other, hold each other, and cry with each other..........
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The Hammer: FG GTE | 376rwkw | 1/4 mile 11.793 @ 119.75mph 1.733 60' (4408lb) 1 of 60 FG MK1 335 GTEs (1 of 118 FG Mk 1 & 2 335 GTEs). Mods: Tune, HSD/ShockWorks, black GT335 19” staggered replicas with 245 & 275/35/19 Michelin Pilot sport 5s Daily: BF2 Fairmont Ghia I6 ZF, machine face GT335 19” staggered Replicas with 245s and 275s, Bilsteins & Kings FPV 335 build stats: <click here> Ford Performance Club ACT |
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#15 | ||
The Experience...
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,017
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Brother Im sorry. As a man of God I will pray for you and your wife to have the strength to get through this time. I really believe, your tiny one is now in a place better then you or I can ever imagine.
God bless you and your wife friend.
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Her Daily: BF XR6T ZF
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#16 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 3,568
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Quote:
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#17 | ||
AFF Whore
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In between gas stations
Posts: 2,246
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Not personally but a friend at work lost her baby only a month ago.
I've never seen her look like that, normally she's firing commands left right and centre and keeping the place ship shape, not after losing the bub. I can only imagine what that must feel like so all I can offer is condolences mate. |
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#18 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,900
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To all of you who have lost a baby... my sincere condolences.
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2022 RAM Laramie 5.7 2023.50 Ranger Wildtrak 3.0 V6 Premium Pack 2024 Everest Sport 3.0 V6 Touring Pack 2024.50 Mustang Darkhorse 6M Blue Ember + Appearance pack ETA Jan 25. Last edited by geckoGT; 09-12-2011 at 01:53 AM. Reason: Clean up on isle 3 |
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#19 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Victoria
Posts: 613
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Sorry for your loss mate, I've never been through a still born but my now ex had a miscarriage with my daughter when she was 3 months preg.
The most important thing is to be there for each other no matter what, unfortunately it caused some fights between us and we don't speak anymore. She was named and all, I still wonder what might have been but have to keep moving forward. It's very difficult but it can be done, a counselor would be a great idea to look into, I've found great help there in previous years
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1988 XF Panelvan - Cam, 5 speed conversion, LSD, interior swap, 235/60-15 front, 275/60-15 rear, extractors/exhaust, Kings super low front and 2" blocks rear 1993 Honda VFR750F Last edited by geckoGT; 09-12-2011 at 01:57 AM. Reason: That bit has been sorted out |
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#20 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,199
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sorry to hear mate, wish i could offer some words of comfort or anything constructive, i am stil young(ish) but would wish this on nobody, Be strong. As a family ford forums is here for ya mate
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Now Ford-less ![]() But good things are coming in 6 months
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#21 | ||
Awesome
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: In my own little world..Everyone here knows me :)
Posts: 9,401
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My condolences on the lost of your little angel Lance.
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Last edited by geckoGT; 09-12-2011 at 02:07 AM. Reason: Clean up done |
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#22 | ||
Looking for clues...
![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Morayfield
Posts: 23,179
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Mate, I'm sorry for your loss, and hope you can be strong tomorrow. Nature can be cruel, but has it's own ways. Take care of your wife's hurt, too.
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2016 Ford Falcon FG/X XR6 Turbo you beaut ute 1985 XR4Ti Sierra - Build Thread 1971 Fairlane 500 and... a collection of Jeep Towpigs and... two collections of rust and some new plastic bits roughly shaped like an F-Truck and.... some spare metal bits with holes in them |
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#23 | ||
Oo---oO
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Launceston TAS
Posts: 1,395
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So sorry to hear mate, we have also suffered through a miscarrage.
My advice... Keep talking to your wife, every minute of the day if need be you need each other now more than ever. Also don't let that deep, dark place in your mind take control! There's nothing more you or wife could have done, don't second guess your actions or try and search for someone to blame. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! (I fell into this trap and it neally killed me) And another thing don't be afraid to ask for help, Its a big deal and help is always at hand. Family, friends or even people on here. We're all here to help. Let out the emotions. Cry, break things, whatever. DON'T TRY AND HOLD IT TOGETHER FOR EVERYONE ELSE. My thoughts will be with you tomorrow mate, all the best.
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AU2 Fairmont Ghia - Monsoon Blue, TS50 wheels -ongoing project. Successful transactions with the following members: Ride, Raised by Monkeys, TICK4D-TAS, Falcman007, 2002AU, JC. |
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#24 | |||
You dig, we stick!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,461
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This makes me wonder about the little/petty things in life that I worry about; I need to readjust and focus my attention to what I take for granted.
Quote:
Very sorry to hear for you loss, Lance. A friend of my brother in law lost 3 toddlers, one after the other, all less than a year old - Patience is something he and his wife would know all about. I pray that no one is tested with such a calamity. |
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#25 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 614
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Quote:
In the space of just over 12 months i saw my brother lose his 3yo (car accident), my cousin lose her 12yo (leukemia) and a good friend lose her 15yo (bacterial meningitis). i know how devastating it was for each of them, so my thoughts are with Lance and his wife...
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Ex-ride: 2010 MB Mondeo - Panther Black - Just a little bit modified ![]() New ride: 2010 LV Focus XR5 - Moondust Silver - More mods than you can poke a stick at ![]() |
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#26 | ||
Now in the quad cam zone
Join Date: May 2008
Location: SE QLD Brisbane
Posts: 2,827
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so sorry to hear of your loss lance, condolences to you and your wife during this hard time.
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#27 | ||
The Thread Killa
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,064
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So sorry to hear of your loss.
Stories like these hit me very close to home - my youngest daughter is 1 1/2 years old and has been on chemotherapy this past month for leukaemia. My prayers go out to you.
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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle |
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#28 | ||
Happy Wife = Happy Life
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Eastern Suburbs, Melbourne
Posts: 1,013
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Whats going on with all the deleted posts in this thread?! Had a read through the responses last night which was tough ( I cried ) My mum lost her 1st baby due to a car accident. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The nurses dressed her in a cute outfit complete with a beanie/hat then my mum had to say good bye to her forever.
Even today, I often think about the sister I never had. I asked my mum about what happened once and she was able to tell me, even though there was great sadness in her voice. I suspect she thinks about it every day. On the other hand, after that she raised 3 boys who she is very proud of. She has been the best mum anyone could ask for. She has moved on, as a person and as a parent. It may sound strange but I think after her experience (and my dads) over time, they have become better, more caring people. I will ask my mum how she dealt with her tragedy and will post any info I think might you Lance. Our thoughts are with you and your family (and friends)
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333 lazy RWKW, Thanks Chris, Theo and Ryan at BLUE POWER G6ET 2010 Seduce. Tax return = GTX upgrade DONE |
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#29 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Ipswich, Qld
Posts: 1,354
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Quote:
I wish you both all the best, and my thoughts are with you today.
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----------------------------------------------------- 2012 Focus ST Tangerine Scream Continually having a battle of wits with unarmed opponents. Sez ![]() Photo's by Sez |
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#30 | ||
Hmmmmmmm!!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,504
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I'm glad this has been brought up.
8 years ago, we found out that a little one was on the way, when we found at the 8th week, the baby wasn't where it was supposed to be. Medical intervention had to happen. I had no say or choice in the matter, but just had to agree with what the doctors said. I had just finished work and found out 2 hours later that surgery was going to happen. It's been a very long hard 8 years without success. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it. Had to learn to live with the fact that there wasn't anything I could do to help, it was the way it was. Had to go through the emotions in the last week as we thought it may have happened again. But it was a false alarm. But the emotions weren't. It really tests you and puts you in a position "to find yourself". I also have a friend that also lost a child whilst being born. It is very tragic. I can only offer my condolences, from a person that knows the pain. We can only group together and offer our support. ![]() Will never give up hope though. |
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