Funny Accidents

[EgoFalcon]

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, this isnt about car accidents, as they are obviously not funny.
This is about accidents you or someone else has done because maybe not paying attention, or forgetting etc.
For example, you fell in the pool because you weren't looking where you were going.
Keep it clean as possible!

Onto my story,
I 'accidently' brushed my teeth with soap, and to this hour, I still don't feel like eating.

[Fordman]

One time after a really hard day at work, I parked in the driveway and turned the car off with it still in drive and the handbrake down.....Hit the brake when i realised what was hapenning, scared the heck outta me.

[krt10]

was walking fast and went to open a door without stopping. the door swung open but hit my foot and stopped. i kept going and cracked my face on it haha

[Iggypoppin']

I gotta ask...how did you accidently brush your teeth with soap???
That cracked me up!
I was at work last week, didn't check the saw was on but the blade was still spinning from last bloke who used it, went to cut Oregon beams and it just destroyed the saw blade. 250 dollar blade was only replaced a month ago!

[troppo]

When I was a kid, my mum went to brush her teeth and while still half asleep grabbed the wrong tube. Ended up giving them a brief scrub with Deep Heat. She got called 'Hotlips' for while after that.

[EgoFalcon]

Originally Posted by Iggypoppin'

I gotta ask...how did you accidently brush your teeth with soap???
That cracked me up!
I was at work last week, didn't check the saw was on but the blade was still spinning from last bloke who used it, went to cut Oregon beams and it just destroyed the saw blade. 250 dollar blade was only replaced a month ago!

Well, I had just woken up, had breakfast and then had a shower. I feel very relaxed after having a shower went to brush my teeth, initial thought was "this is a different tooth paste". To realise I was using soap about 10 seconds into my brush. Just one of those days.

This is good people, keep it up! I need to feel good about myself today.

[DJR-351]

Not me but my brother...

He reached through the driver’s window of his Landcruiser to turn his ignition on, turned it too far, engine caught launching the ute/bullbar into the side of his 22ft fibreglass boat, which in turn knocked over his Triumph Sprint motorbike parked on the other side.
The result was a $2000 repair bill for the boat and a new fuel tank for the bike as it split landing on the concrete steps of his house, took me days to stop laughing when he told me....

[Feathers]

Couple of months ago I was at work, and had to go find Dad to take a phone call.

Last time I'd seen him he was on the right hand side of the shed moving pallets of parts.
I wandered over there,a nd couldn't see him, so I called out, and found he was now on the left side of the shed, just past a coach that was up on the hoist being rebuilt.

Having been around these vehicles most of my life, I was taught early on never to walk under them on the hoist, in case I hit my head (or they came down unexpectedly).

From where I was standing, there was no way to where Dad was, without getting covered in grease, except - of course - under the coach. Didn't want to get grubby, so I took the shortcut.

I very carefully ducked my head, and started to walk across under the coach, looking up to make sure that there was nothing for me to bash my head on.

I got about half way, then promptly tripped over the tailshaft, which had been removed, and left on the ground.

Being hunched over, I got quite a bit of momentum up before finally sliding along the workshop floor on my right knee, hitting my head on the tool room door, and crushing my hand up under my body.

Dad saw the whole thing. Ripped my jeans, dug a chunk out of my knee, and fractured my right hand when I landed on it.
I also got covered in all the crud off the ground, so my plan not to get dirty, didn't work.

[Yellow_Festiva]

When I was a lad of 4 or 5 I always remember dad telling me to never put those red hot chilies that he had out in the sun drying in my mouth... so after being bored and playing with them for a while I then went to the toilet.....

There are things other than hot sun that can 'burn' you I soon learnt....

[Yellow_Festiva]

I guess this is 'funny' from the readers point of view.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/793...wims-in-bottom

Man nearly killed as eel swims in bottom

A Chinese fishmonger almost died after an eel swam into his bottom.

Li Chang was sitting on the edge of a tank at a warehouse in Guangzhou in southern China when he fell back into a container of live eels, The Sun newspaper reports.

The 43-year-old said he was horrified when he felt one swim up his trousers and into his anus.

He said he was too embarrassed to tell anyone what had happened and continued working.

But colleagues called emergency services after he collapsed.

Doctors performed a five hour surgery to remove the creature and repair the severe internal injuries caused by it moving around.

"The eel had badly injured the patient," a hospital spokesman was quoted as saying.

"If he had not arrived when he did he would have died.

"We expect he will make a full recovery though."

[Coyote mk3]

Last week I was changing the oil in the 4wd. Lying underneath, I undo the sump plug it starts to drain.
As soon as I know it is all going well I thought I would just get up and wait.
I move to get up and put my head straight under the pouring oil, which is still coming out as fast as ever.
I pulled my head out of the way and managed to hit some part of the under body awfully hard.
Eyes watering, swearing and head covered in oil I get out to see dad just about on the floor laughing; turns out he saw the whole thing. damn

Luckily the oil was just warm not hot

[DJM83]

Shortly after getting my iPhone, i was in Melb visiting a mate. Id been getting used to my new phone. i jumped onto his laptop as you do and he said click here (a link) so i touched the screen with my finger (was so used to the touch screen on my new phone) to try and open the link

[pottery beige]

Laughed at the dog for walking into a closed sliding door... Conk!!.. ten minutes later i done it myself.....

[ltd]

A couple of mates and I were trying to convince a mate that he should come to the gym with us as he was rather portly; he just got through ranting about how only queers go to the gym. The second he finished his rant we watched in stunned amazement as the chair underneath him failed and he fell on the floor. We cried for over an hour with laughter, my throat became sore from laughing so hard. To this day if we mention it he gets angry. In retrospect it is cruel, but to be there was the epitome of irony and hilarity.

[DJM83]

Originally Posted by pottery beige

Laughed at the dog for walking into a closed sliding door... Conk!!.. ten minutes later i done it myself.....

That made me laugh

[pottery beige]

bored out in the shed i retreaded a pair of thongs with plywood... gone running inside to show off my handywork.. flick.. clock.. flick.. clock.. slipped bum up on the tiled floor..... you idiot..

[Road Games]

I have learn't to separate the Hairspray can from the Deodorant can on my wash basin...... F&#%$n sticky armpits on the way to work isn't cool !!

[Iggypoppin']

Just did this before...my mate and I had to take the engine crane to another mates, so I lifted the top part and put it in the boot..he grabbed the hydraulic Jack part..
I walk over and announce: so...we taking the whole crane?
His reply was along the lines of, what you expect to lift with a hook and a hydraulic Jack ya dumba$$????
Then he started laughing, didn't stop for about 10 minutes.

[Geez Louise]

I have had so many funny accidents...I am a natural born Klutz!

The funniest though was one day at work (was working in the office at a flour mill) and I went out to grab a flour sample off the shelf. Well a bag of flour fell on my head and burst open. Flour was everywhere! Everyone on the factory floor witnessed it and thought it was hilarious! There I am covered head to toe in the stuff.

So off I go to the ladies to get cleaned up and changed. As there was a locker room in there, I locked the door so no-one could walk in on me, stripped off to get changed, only to look up and see a workman, who was fixing the window, looking straight at me.

I don't know who got the bigger shock. Him seeing me or me seeing him.

I must have been quite a sight! Still makes me laugh to this day.

[TZENU]

Riding through Lysterfield on my MB with a few mates..... After 3 hours riding my legs and arms ached.. I was approaching a fairly big tree trunk on the track at speed... Being the lazy &^%$% that I am, I managed to get the front up; but as I saw the drop (first time riding this track) my body froze and didn't comprehend that I had to get the rear up in the air too!!! Rear hit the log and unbalanced me and sent me flying into a neighbouring tree... Naturally we had to stop because my mates couldn't stop laughing.

Another time whilst riding in Mornington (on the roadie) a mate of mine had just ridden his bike for the first time from Sandringham on cleats... He was so happy about his achievement he decided to shout us breakfast .... As we appraoched the cafe a police car turned out of a street and stopped at the lights right in front of him... Luckily he stopped, but forgot to unclip himself... The rest happened in slow motion... As he began falling to the side, bike and all, I had tears streaming down my eyes;... To this day, we still remind him!

[my67xr]

i was working under my car changing the speedo gear, i sneezed and cracked my head on the floorpan, instant reaction was to pull my head away and i cracked the back of my head on the cement, then almost cracked my head again on the floor, ouch

few years back a mate was pulling the steering wheel off his commodore, he forgot to leave the nut on a few threads, he got a sore nose and a black eye when the wheel let go and hit his head

another time he was working under the bonnet of the same vk and he bumped the bonnet rod, bonnet came down hard on the back of his head and forced him into the radiator on the forehead, 6 stitches to the back of his head and 3 in the front

he liked a waccy tobaccy smoke now and then, came back to work from lunch after a session, he was a welder
he was playing with the mig, in his own world, started feeding the wire out in circles around his head, got about 4 laps around and the wire arced out on the welding bench and started to glow red,
got 3 deep wire burns across the back of his neck.
it straightened him up pretty quick and would have had trouble explaining to the boss what had happened.

[grandpa_spec_F6]

Almost managed to shoot myself in the left arm from a bullet ricoshay, luckily went through the shirt instead.

Backed into a friend parked car and tore his front bar off.

In my younger days, absentmindedly filled my dads partners '82 corolla with 5L of oil and forgot to check the dipstick, sat there going "god its taking a lot" thinking it was like a radiator, fill it till its at the top. After a trail of blue smoke all the way down the road we pulled into my grandparents place, dad opened the bonnet, gingerly pulled the dipstick out which showered him in oil from head to toe... I was NOT popular that day.

[Jason[98.EL]]

Originally Posted by grandpa_spec_au

Almost managed to shoot myself in the left arm from a bullet ricoshay, luckily went through the shirt instead..

you are a lucky bloke

many years ago i ended up in hospital from a dumbnut so and so throwing 5 22cal bullets into a bon fire

one of the bullets somehow found its way to me and hit me in the shoulder

still gets sore to this day even though the bullet is out

Jason

[grandpa_spec_F6]

Originally Posted by Jason[98.EL]

you are a lucky bloke

many years ago i ended up in hospital from a dumbnut so and so throwing 5 22cal bullets into a bon fire

Jason

Yeah I think I walked back to the house pale as a ghost after that.

Funny you should mention the fire, one of my friend has a nice round hole in her **** where she got hit with a .22cal, same situation.

My great uncle used to do the same thing as a kid... but with .303's

[Mr Hardware]

got out of the shower and dried myself with my pj's.
whoops.

[3vXT]

Originally Posted by DAZZLER351

I have learn't to separate the Hairspray can from the Deodorant can on my wash basin...... F&#%$n sticky armpits on the way to work isn't cool !!

lol, i spray shaving cream in my armpits at least twice a week.

[vik351]

When I was younger (70's)

I used to have the odd beer...

This night I coasted into the drive with the motor turned off as not to wake the folks...(Had to work with the old man next morn...)

Crept into the house...(shoulda had a slassh outside),went to the dunnie to have a slassh...Kept the lights off so not to wake the folks...

Slassin away and Next minute...

My knees were gettin wet...!!!

My old lady musta cleaned the dunny that day and put the lid down ...as they do...

So I was p155en on the lid FFS...

Ever tried stoppin mid stream with a skin full...???

vik... Aint that easy...!!!

[Iggypoppin']

Originally Posted by ken2903

lol, i spray shaving cream in my armpits at least twice a week.

I've done fly spray..that stuff burns hardcore!
Today I destroyed 3grand worth of Oregon flitches because the forklift teins wern't fully under the pack...so it rolled and ruined the Oregon. Woops!!!

[cheek]

when I first used deep heat, was rubbing it on my shoulder after a hard day playing cricket, then i went for a pis5............
OWW

[vik351]

Originally Posted by Iggypoppin'

I've done fly spray..that stuff burns hardcore!
Today I destroyed 3grand worth of Oregon flitches because the forklift teins wern't fully under the pack...so it rolled and ruined the Oregon. Woops!!!

You make it sound as though it is a laugh...???...

I would put you're bells in a sling if you worked for me...!!!

vik...PS...Saw Pats XB at CJ's today...