Clarkson writes review on his experience in an FPV GT.

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 05:10 PM

I have been dreaming of this moment for some time. Thing is. The money grabbing Times of the UK won't let me access it without registering and paying a pound. How shoddy is that?

And part of the terms and conditions for registering is no copying and pasting, and or linking to it. And you know how the poms take their terms and conditions. Normally I wouldn't have mind paying the pound if I could share it with all of you chaps. But now it will be just for me. So I'm not going ahead with it for now.

Scroll down until you see FPV Boss 335 GT.

http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/...eremyclarkson/

SEZ213 · 09-05-2011, 05:14 PM

This is the article...stolen from fordaustraliaforums.com

Quote:

"On the face of it Australia is much like any other modern, developed nation. But for a number of reasons it isn’t, and chief among those reasons is the koala: you may not know this but it spends almost all of its life off its face on dope and then, whenever it feels frightened, it catches chlamydia. You do not find this sort of thing going on with any other creature in any other part of the world.

Then you have the kangaroo. The red variety can travel at 40mph, which is fast enough to give a G-Wiz a run for its money. But no kangaroo of any sort can back up. They have no reverse gear at all. Plus, all female kangaroos are permanently pregnant.

Life is very different for the female Sydney funnel-web spider. She has to spend her whole life in the burrow and is not allowed out until she dies of old age. The males, meanwhile, like to roar around Sydney at night, swimming in people’s pools, hiding in children’s shoes and eating anyone who gets too close.

I like Australia but almost everything you find down under is unique. The duck-billed platypus, for instance. Surely the strangest animal ever to leap from the fumes of God’s chemistry set.

On land it is four-wheel drive, but underwater it becomes front-wheel drive and uses its rear legs for steering. So it’s an amphibious fork-lift truck, with a beak.

We see the same sort of thing in sport. Elsewhere in the world, you have American football or proper football. Whereas down under there is Aussie Rules, which is strange because from what I can gather there aren’t any rules at all. Apart from no poofters, obviously. The game itself is part soccer, part rugby and part basketball, but what sets it aside from all three is that each side consists of about 17,000 players, all of whom wear rather unattractive skintight vests.

Another notable thing in Australia is a fanatical approach to health and safety. There are more speed cameras than people, and if you wish to go snorkelling you must dress up in a giant nylon all-in-one. This means no part of your skin, including hands, feet and face, is in contact with the water, and so you cannot get stung by a box jellyfish.

In some ways it is a wise precaution. But I’m sorry — splashing about in an acrylic submarine rather spoils the point of snorkelling. And it’s not as if the box jellyfish is unique to Oz. The little critters are everywhere, and no other nation makes you get into a condom just in case.

It gets worse. After my snorkelling expedition, I tried to rent a Jet Ski. But a state law meant that I had to sit down, in the blazing sunshine, and take a written exam. What’s to learn? There’s a throttle and that’s it. My daughter was riding a Jet Ski at the age of five. An idiot could do it. I pointed all this out to the blond surfer dude who was running the course but it was as if he’d been programmed: safety is everything.

Not on a Jet Ski, it isn’t. Fun is everything. Whizzing about and trying to splash your mates is everything. Getting knocked off by a big wave is everything. If you want to be safe on a Jet Ski, get off it.

So there you are, in a country where they drive on the same side of the road as us, speak the same language and have the same head of state. And the same summer weather, if my recent trip is anything to go by. But it’s not the same at all.

And it especially isn’t the same when you look at cars. In every other country in the world people may like the brand of car they drive, but not so much that they would punch someone in the face for driving something different.

To the average Aussie there are two brands. Ford and Holden. And even if you are a solicitor and you drive an Audi, you are instinctively in one of these two groups. I was going to say it’s like the Catholics and the Protestants in Northern Ireland, but it isn’t. It’s more ingrained than that.

There is such fanaticism, in fact, and loyalty that both Ford and General Motors make cars specifically for the Australian market. We’re talking about a country of just 22m people — most of whom are in Earls Court. That would be like making a car specifically for Romania. It wouldn’t happen.

That said, it is not expensive to engineer a car for the Australian market. Certainly, you don’t have to employ a stylist. The current crop of Holdens aren’t too bad, in a meaty, knuckle-dragging sort of way, but the Fords ... Oh dear. And it was always thus, even back in the days of Mad Max and his Interceptor.

I tried the new Ford Falcon FPV Boss 335 GT when I was over there and it struck me that someone had spent a few quid on the engine and then nothing at all on anything else. I’m told this is how it should be when you are upside down. Which you will be if you try to make it go round a corner.

The old Falcon V8 was a bit of a problem child because the turbocharged V6 model was faster and nice to drive. So Ford has teamed up with Prodrive — the famous Aussie motor racing house in Oxfordshire — to create the new one.

It was a big ask because the base engine comes from a Mustang and it has asthma. To try to insert a bit of ephedrine, it is now fitted with a supercharger and an intercooler, which means you get lots of grunt. So much that every time you set off you “lay a couple of darkies”. People cheer when you leave a skid mark like this in Australia.

So it’s quite gruntsome in a straight line, but it is too big, too soft and too heavy to be remotely good at anything else. And inside, you get the impression everything is made from Cellophane. My snorkelling suit felt more robust.

Grippy · 09-05-2011, 05:35 PM

His review doesn't really surprise me, compared to the $100k+ Euro's he is used to driving and reviewing.

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 05:35 PM

Ouch. What a stupid english **** head.

Clarkson.... you are no longer my hero.

BTW we have a straight-six... if that's too much for you to grasp?

Grippy · 09-05-2011, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buntz93ED

Ouch. What a stupid english **** head.

Is he wrong?

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grippy

Is he wrong?

Well.... yes. If you can fall in love with a Commodore, and not a Falcon... then there is clearly something wrong.

I wouldn't have called it a review even. He took it for a couple laps around a go-kart track.

FordACE · 09-05-2011, 05:44 PM

that wasn't really a review, it was a pretty lame read really.

**DJM83** · 09-05-2011, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buntz93ED

Well.... yes. If you can fall in love with a Commodore, and not a Falcon... then there is clearly something wrong.

I wouldn't have called it a review even. He took it for a couple laps around a go-kart track.

Whilst i do agree it was really just a mundane driver around, so not a proper road test.
Just because he 'Fell in love' with a commodore doesnt mean that the same should happen with the Ford.

AWD Chaser · 09-05-2011, 05:50 PM

Quote:

turbocharged V6 model

Im sure he means Turbo I6...

FreddyDUZ747 · 09-05-2011, 05:50 PM

I usually like his reviews,dont agree with this one though.

Made me laugh still.

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJM83

Whilst i do agree it was really just a mundane driver around, so not a proper road test.
Just because he 'Fell in love' with a commodore doesnt mean that the same should happen with the Ford.

Something that is lighter and harder going than a Commodore.

Even about the same dimensions and weight of a Jaguar XKR which he claimed as good as a BMW M5. But that wasn't too soft... or too heavy?

Doesn't make sense. Although, the old boy does often change his mind when he drives it on his own track.

Styling is subjective. But I'm not a fan of the raccoon eyes either, if that's what put him off.

ea90gl · 09-05-2011, 05:51 PM

"Review" sounded more like a winge about the country then a brief winge about the GT with some incorrect facts chucked in. Anyone else heard of Australia Fords turbo V6?

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ea90gl

"Review" sounded more like a winge about the country then a brief winge about the GT with some incorrect facts chucked in. Anyone else heard of Australia Fords turbo V6?

Yeah... the new Territory.

My poor XF · 09-05-2011, 05:52 PM

Who cares?

Nothing to see here, move on.

SEZ213 · 09-05-2011, 05:52 PM

Makes you wonder why anyone would pay a pound to read something like that...

He's not an automotive journalist, he's an entertainer...I commenced reading feeling that it wasn't the real thing, read a bit more and his 'style' is definitely there...it seems to be more of a ****-take on Australian animals, and not much else...

FPV+fteT3 · 09-05-2011, 05:54 PM

Quote:

That said, it is not expensive to engineer a car for the Australian market. Certainly, you don’t have to employ a stylist. The current crop of Holdens aren’t too bad, in a meaty, knuckle-dragging sort of way, but the Fords ... Oh dear. And it was always thus, even back in the days of Mad Max and his Interceptor.
I tried the new Ford Falcon FPV Boss 335 GT when I was over there and it struck me that someone had spent a few quid on the engine and then nothing at all on anything else. I’m told this is how it should be when you are upside down. Which you will be if you try to make it go round a corner.

The old Falcon V8 was a bit of a problem child because the turbocharged V6 model was faster and nice to drive. So Ford has teamed up with Prodrive — the famous Aussie motor racing house in Oxfordshire — to create the new one.

Good fun to watch Clarkson in a knuckle dragging sort of way on his show but thats about it, you have got to remember its an entertainment show obviously he's not a good journalist and the show is not factual or he would not get it so wrong all the time.
He's just out looking if the cheque from government motors has arrived yet.....with a nice thankyou card of course.

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My poor XF

Who cares?

Nothing to see here, move on.

Who cares what one of the most influential people in the motoring world thinks of our beloved GT?

Probably most people who frequent these forums.

rancidpunx · 09-05-2011, 05:54 PM

He had the car for the whole time he was in Melbourne as his private get around, it was not just the quick lap around the go kart track.
I read this a while ago and im not surprised really, he may have a different opinion if he had it on "the track" as they did when they originally got their hands on the Monaro.

SteveJH · 09-05-2011, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJM83

Whilst i do agree it was really just a mundane driver around, so not a proper road test.
Just because he 'Fell in love' with a commodore doesnt mean that the same should happen with the Ford.

Post through the link below was written by the person who had the car after clarkson.

Apparrently in the few days he had it, Clarkson destroyed a set of rear tires.

http://www.fordxr6turbo.com/forum/to...55-evaluation/

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rancidpunx

He had the car for the whole time he was in Melbourne as his private get around, it was not just the quick lap around the go kart track.
I read this a while ago and im not surprised really, he may have a different opinion if he had it on "the track" as they did when they originally got their hands on the Monaro.

Well I didn't know that.... but it's still a load of crap.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sezzy

Makes you wonder why anyone would pay a pound to read something like that...

He's not an automotive journalist, he's an entertainer...I commenced reading feeling that it wasn't the real thing, read a bit more and his 'style' is definitely there...it seems to be more of a ****-take on Australian animals, and not much else...

Maybe he wrote it that way because his readers expect him to write something Anti-Australian.

anto · 09-05-2011, 05:58 PM

Quote:

he current crop of Holdens aren’t too bad, in a meaty, knuckle-dragging sort of way, but the Fords ... Oh dear. And it was always thus, even back in the days of Mad Max and his Interceptor.

this dude is officially on crack

**DJM83** · 09-05-2011, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buntz93ED

Who cares what one of the most influential people in the motoring world thinks of our beloved GT?

Probably most people who frequent these forums.

Would his opinion stop you buying one?
I really dont think he would be influential for a car that cannot be bought in the UK. Im sure the people in the red corner are using his 'review' as ammo.
If it were me and i was an average Joe buying a RWD performance sedan i wouldnt give one iota what JC said to be honest.
Im a very Avid fan of JC aswell but still i wouldnt care.

Franco Cozzo · 09-05-2011, 06:04 PM

Zing, he basically backed up what I said about the Falcon in general, good engine and drivetrain wise, rubbish everything else.

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJM83

I really dont think he would be influential for a car that cannot be bought in the UK.
If it were me and i was an average Joe buying a RWD performance sedan i wouldnt give one iota what JC said to be honest.
Im a very Avid fan of JC aswell but still i wouldnt care.

Keep in mind you are an individual. Your thoughts are your own, as are your logic and thought process.

But he has topped polls for his influence. And many sheep will say, "if the big JC says it's crap, it's crap."

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Damo

Zing, he basically backed up what I said about the Falcon in general, good engine and drivetrain wise, rubbish everything else.

Ha... coming from you that's a laugh. You even said yourself you'd be a V8 kia.

**DJM83** · 09-05-2011, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buntz93ED

Keep in mind you are an individual. Your thoughts are your own, as are your logic and thought process.

But he has topped polls for his influence. And many sheep will say, "if the big JC says it's crap, it's crap."

Yeah it is my opinion thats true, but i still cant see how he can be that influential on the GT as im sure its a decent package.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buntz93ED

Ha... coming from you that's a laugh. You even said yourself you'd be a V8 kia.

Have you driven one then? Better not post my against the grain thoughts i might upset a few.

Franco Cozzo · 09-05-2011, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buntz93ED

Ha... coming from you that's a laugh. You even said yourself you'd be a V8 kia.

Lol coming from the guy with "93 ED" in his name.

ED Falcon, the pinnacle of the automotive industry, right?

JPFS1 · 09-05-2011, 06:17 PM

Still sounds like a toss in an entertaining kind of way.

My poor XF · 09-05-2011, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buntz93ED

Who cares what one of the most influential people in the motoring world thinks of our beloved GT?

Probably most people who frequent these forums.

He is an entertainer that can drive, i enjoy his show but I don't give a rats backside what he or anyone else thinks about our cars.

Any purchase decision of mine won't be based on what he says or thinks and if anyone made a decision based on his comments then their an idiot.

Buntz · 09-05-2011, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJM83

Yeah it is my opinion thats true, but i still cant see how he can be that influential on the GT as im sure its a decent package.

I'm not talking about the GT specifically. Anything that man says about a car is considered gospel.

Quote:

Have you driven one then? Better not post my against the grain thoughts i might upset a few.

No I haven't driven the GT. But's it's the same car with a V8 plonked in it. Although heavier in the front.

But Big Damo wouldn't know a good car if it ran over him.