How To Be Emo (Kinda Big)

Venomous · 28-09-2005, 09:57 PM

Haha found this on another forum. Very funny and true if u know what they are talking about. Anyway enjoy:

Emo Kids.....

I wonder when people will realize that the "scene" has become homogeneous. It's full of 14 year old girls with uneven bangs, black and white striped shirts, and tattered low-top black Chuck Taylor’s, who swoon over homosexual kissing and pathetic whiny lyrics and overuse the symbols.

Their favorite quote is, invariably, "The truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt" because it like, so totally describes their relationship with that one HAWT sophomore who totally ripped their hearts out when they were like, SO in love with him.

Their favorite type of music is, of course, "emo, screamo, and hardcore", three terms which, in their minds, invariably include the bands Taking Back Sunday, Thrice, and Hawthorne Heights.

Their AIM screennames often include x's, the words "electrikk", "disaster", or some play on their favorite song from their favorite band, you know, the one they saw on MTV like a couple times, but shouldn't be on MTV because they're like, way too emo for that.

They take hundreds of black and white pictures with way too much contrast of themselves looking plaintively down at the ground, pointing a gun made of their fingers at their heads, or kissing the camera while displaying their expert application of lip gloss around their labret piercing and the thick dark eyeliner that circles their eyes.

They embrace the "dork" that is inside their polished, fashionable exteriors by writing in their LiveJournals or Xangas about how they and their friends had an 'N Sync sing-a-long at one of their sleepovers because, remember, 'N Sync is soooo not popular anymore and they like, sooo wouldn't follow any of the fads of today, so they embrace the fads of yesterday.

They adore "retro fashion", meaning anything from the 80's, because they totally used to wear neon colors and big beaded bracelets, even though they were born in, at the earliest, 1988 and remember jack about the fashion and culture of the 80's.

It's full of "emo boys" who often are difficult to differentiate from "emo girls", who have meaningless tattoos even though they're 15, smoke a lot of cigarettes, drink a lot of hard liquor, and are in some ty band that plays a couple of gigs in someone's basement because they're "too cool to go mainstream" when really, they just suck.

They weigh roughly 90 pounds, wear girls' jeans that hug their asses in just the right places, belts buckled somewhere around the side of their right leg, tight striped 80's style polo shirts or band t-shirts, and skater shoes, even though they don't skate because that's soooo lame.

They write awful poetry about the dark abyss of their souls and how the gun is pointed at their heads, the trigger poised to blast away the bloody memories of a failed romance. They cried when Blink-182 broke up, and they have a secret obsession with Avril Lavigne because, like, she really IS kinda hot even though her music totally sucks.

They spend more time at the mirror than their female counterparts do, making sure that the long black shock of hair at the front of their heads lies covering one eye just so, that their lip piercing is perfectly placed so that it looks hot when they kiss other boys, that their pants are the right degree of tightness so as not to exude gayness.

Emo boys and girls often use the suffix "Xcore" to describe themselves, using a number of adjectives or nouns to accomplish this task. This is a play off hardcore music, or "hXc". Some of these descriptive words include "fashionXcore", "retroXcore", or even "yournamehereXcore."

This way of speaking is retarded or nonsensical to everyone else except those "in the scene", but it totally doesn't matter because they're too nonconformistXcore for anyone to truly understand their "scene".

They couldn't name a Sunny Day Real Estate or Rites of Spring song if it came up and bit them on their Gap Jeans-clad asses, and they claim to like the Smiths because Jesse Lacey of Brand New said they were cool.

Sure, they listen to some new "hardcore" bands, but they're all pretty much the same five bands:
1. Taking Back Sunday
2. Senses Fail
3. Thrice
4. Hawthorne Heights
5. Story of the Year
To these promising young firecrackers, music takes a backseat to fashion in their scene of choice.

Emo girls just want to kiss emo boys, emo boys just want to kiss other emo boys, and they all want to wear tight pants and take lots of pictures of themselves. End of story. Because honestly? It's electrikk!

Psycho Chicken · 28-09-2005, 10:19 PM

They are all idiots.

Summed it up much quicker :P

romaniac · 28-09-2005, 10:23 PM

lol i think the guy in his sig is a even bigger idiot

Walkinshaw · 28-09-2005, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Chicken

They are all idiots.

Summed it up much quicker :P

Rob, where can we find them? I need some more firewood.

oneredED · 28-09-2005, 10:34 PM

Hahahahaha, that's a ****er! I listen to "emo" or "screamo" music, but i hate the people who are like that (as you described), which is pretty much every single person who listens to the stuff. Believe it or not, i actually like the music though, but FFS, i just couldn't justify looking like an idiot with male camel-toe tight black pants, black eye crap, and stupid hair...

EDIT: when i say i like the music, i like about 3 bands that are considered emo. Anymore, and they're all just sounding the fricken same...

Psycho Chicken · 28-09-2005, 10:34 PM

I know a few. All deadbeats with no chance in life. Myspace is the best for killing time laughing at idiots.

MrQuan · 28-09-2005, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walkinshaw

Rob, where can we find them? I need some more firewood.

Firewood is a very... sensible way of putting it :P haha. (A small bundle of sticks is handy when lighting a fire.)

Feathers · 28-09-2005, 10:38 PM

LOL. that is so true. The same can also be said for the "babygoths".

Actually, all goths. And I am one, but meh.

MrQuan · 28-09-2005, 10:39 PM

Goths....? don't get me started. :yeees:

Venomous · 28-09-2005, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oneredED

Hahahahaha, that's a ****er! I listen to "emo" or "screamo" music, but i hate the people who are like that (as you described), which is pretty much every single person who listens to the stuff. Believe it or not, i actually like the music though, but FFS, i just couldn't justify looking like an idiot with male camel-toe tight black pants, black eye crap, and stupid hair...

EDIT: when i say i like the music, i like about 3 bands that are considered emo. Anymore, and they're all just sounding the fricken same...

Lol yea im the same as you. Listen to the music but dont dress it. The shopping centre in which i work is filled of them on a thursday night, its crazy. As much as they can look stupid at times, it has to be better then ur homie dog type people with there baggy pants and stuff.

oneredED · 28-09-2005, 11:02 PM

Quote:

As much as they can look stupid at times, it has to be better then ur homie dog type people with there baggy pants and stuff.

Ohhh hell yeah! I actually venture out to "emo" clubs occasionally to see live bands, but i have given up. I am sick to death of everyone there claiming to non-conform to society or whatever they call it, but then they're just the same as every other emo kid out there who writes songs about his broken heart and how his one girlfriend he ever had was just so perfect but things didn't work out...

The MaDDeSTMaN · 28-09-2005, 11:53 PM

I must be getting old, I've never heard of "Emo" before this thread...

Shonky · 29-09-2005, 12:01 AM

Don't worry about your age Troy. I am as lost as you...

MustangNicko · 29-09-2005, 12:13 AM

Hahaha thats nice

I love mah metal and go to heaps of clubs... these days all packed out with emo punk wannabes... tight straight legged jeans, dodgy converses, long black fringe covering one eye with it short n spikey out the back, they put makeup on to make it look like teardrops... AFI tshirts... they are the biggest losers

honer · 29-09-2005, 12:38 AM

Hahaha.. Great thread.. I thought I was the only person that disliked these morons.

As Pyscho Chicken said, all deadbeats. Never have a job or go anywhere in life, and spend their time infecting young girls with their weak mentallity.

Shonky · 29-09-2005, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honer

...infecting young girls with their weak mentallity...

weak mentality?

Haven't heard of that STI before...

free-energy64 · 29-09-2005, 05:24 AM

Yeah, thats so typical Aussie male, bag anyone who stands out and wants to be a bit different. And I suppose all you guys wear boring T's and Ford shirts and think you look cool.
I've got daughters and I consider that its just another fad, so what, they come and go as always.
What were you into when you were younger? Bet you had certain clothes that you felt you had to wear to fit in. Its no different for them, only nowadays its even more complicated and confusing.
What they need is for Aus to get away from all the American trends and fads that the kids seem to follow and think for themselves.
I would rather see EMO's, goths and punks around anyday than gangster type rappy gear.

Original punk from the 70's

hrtrip · 29-09-2005, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by free-energy64

Yeah, thats so typical Aussie male, bag anyone who stands out and wants to be a bit different. And I suppose all you guys wear boring T's and Ford shirts and think you look cool.
I've got daughters and I consider that its just another fad, so what, they come and go as always.
What were you into when you were younger? Bet you had certain clothes that you felt you had to wear to fit in. Its no different for them, only nowadays its even more complicated and confusing.
What they need is for Aus to get away from all the American trends and fads that the kids seem to follow and think for themselves.
I would rather see EMO's, goths and punks around anyday than gangster type rappy gear.

Original punk from the 70's

oh how i agree. its just another fad. they'll get over it. they claim to be individual but like was said earlier they aren't, but maybe thats part of the trend. who cares how they look, if they wanna be like that let them, they're not hurting you and probably have no desire to.

one thing i do hate is the american culture that is pushed all over young aussie people. im 19, and hate most things american. dunno why, i just dont agree with a lot of it. as for gangster wanna be's, i wanna shoot them all or "pop a cap". tupac is dead, get over it and no, he's not coming back.

i like to look like an individual but thats just me, so if you have a problem with it, tell someone who cares. my acid wash jeans that i bought in the op shop for 4 bucks will do me just fine as will my 1980's reebok pumps. i like my pink t-shirts but i dont like being labelled a homo for wearing them.

people need to realise that these "emo's" are probably just going through a phase. GET OVER IT. i know i did a long time ago. sorry for having a whinge i jsut hate really judgmental people. however, i do agree with some of the things said above such as they are always miserable... it's not cool and never will be.

i'll tell you what is cool though,... FORDS. if you dont agree, go back to commodore forums.

:

just my 2c, actually more like 10c, just to be different,

HRT R.I.P

4.9 EF Futura · 29-09-2005, 11:32 AM

Ahahahahahahahaha. That, my friend - is absolutely brilliant.

Unfortunately I am a fan of punk rock and get along to quite a few gigs which are absolutely chock a block with these morons. Only 2 years ago your average show at the unibar was full of guys wearing t-shirts and a pair of shorts, girls wearing a skintight singlet and a short skirt... now it's like some sort of gothic fashion parade... "Got it in black?". Whilst there is validity to some of the music, the scene is an absolute joke. It must take several hours to get the clothes, make up and hair just right... we jokingly refer to them as 'the black army'. It's rather amusing after the show watching them all line up and wait for mum to pick them up in the bmw X5/mercedes m class/territory ghia. They must have had such rough/disturbed childhoods.

Quote:

Rob, where can we find them? I need some more firewood.

Dan, head down rundle mall on any given Friday evening. Usually sitting on the ground in circles around mall's balls. Public beatings very tempting but it's difficult to distinguish who is female and who is not. Although in hindsight, they could probably all use a swift kick to the teeth.

Des · 29-09-2005, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by free-energy64

Original punk from the 70's

I was laughing about this the other day with the missus. I think about my old get-ups etc. and have a giggle when I see others of my vintage walking around in shorts, (old) Rollins (or insert other older band name here) t-shirt and flip flops pushing the pram out shopping with the family. I can remember through the early 80's and after thinking "bugger society". Well now here I am, as above, pushing around the pram shopping with the family, with all the old records (big black thing like a large CD but more fragile for younger viewers), tapes and (a few very old) CD's at home....

TheSneakiness · 29-09-2005, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

Usually sitting on the ground in circles around mall's balls. Public beatings very tempting but it's difficult to distinguish who is female and who is not.

Especially that last bit, is so, very, very true.

Up here, head to the Sunshine Plaza on a Thursday night (Late Night shopping) and you see the wastes of space everywhere, and you cannot tell what's male and what's female.

The MaDDeSTMaN · 29-09-2005, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUII_SE_Ute

Up here, head to the Sunshine Plaza on a Thursday night (Late Night shopping) and you see the wastes of space everywhere, and you cannot tell what's male and what's female.

Hahaha, ok, so I'll head down there tonight so I can see what you're all talking about, hahah!

Although in general I try to steer clear of Sunshine Plaza - I want my car to still be there when I return to where I parked it!

BTW, when I first saw the title for this thread, I didn't read it quite right and thought it said "How to be Elmo" (see my avatar) :hihi:

TheSneakiness · 29-09-2005, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN

Although in general I try to steer clear of Sunshine Plaza - I want my car to still be there when I return to where I parked it!

Yes, there's that too.

It's really gone downhill since I moved here.

Perana · 29-09-2005, 12:07 PM

I think your talking about 2 different sunshines there...

The MaDDeSTMaN · 29-09-2005, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perana XR8

I think your talking about 2 different sunshines there...

Oh yeah, hadn't noticed the location

:

It's still true what I wrote about sunshine plaza and wanting my car to still be there. :( And no doubt there would be people like described hanging around at sunshine plaza in melbourne tonight.

Simmo · 29-09-2005, 12:25 PM

oh god yes i hate these emo kids and their crappy music. its like those gay makeovers guys took the whole punk scene and fairyed it up.

MustangNicko · 29-09-2005, 01:20 PM

Its not just a fad.. its been around for ages.. its just that its become commercialised and most people notice it now.

Venomous · 29-09-2005, 04:07 PM

Yea, damn im annoyed at the moment lol, its fine when these kids are actually emotional people (emo) and stuff but it just ****es me off when they are wannabees. Sittin in class today and this dude had eyeliner on (First time ever) and theres this chick with him, and his like oh yea im gettin an emo haircut, and this chick goes "OMG you are so emo" I turn around give them the dirtiest look, and a friend of mine (also into punk and stuff like me) turns around and gives them a dirty look also. Im thinking what wannabees. What posers. They think just because they dress it it makes them emo. What ****ers. I know a few emo kids, and they are into the music, its there personality, and dress it and they are really nice guys, so its not really nice stereotyping them. Then uve got all ur mainstream kids that think that if they dress emo and listen to the used or my chemical romance it makes them emo. What the hell lol. Alll this being said im into the music, go to the shows and stuff, but dont try to be something im not. GRRR lol

:

Psycho Chicken · 29-09-2005, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by free-energy64

Yeah, thats so typical Aussie male, bag anyone who stands out and wants to be a bit different.

Quote:

What were you into when you were younger? Bet you had certain clothes that you felt you had to wear to fit in. Its no different for them, only nowadays its even more complicated and confusing.
What they need is for Aus to get away from all the American trends and fads that the kids seem to follow and think for themselves.

How can you say we're bagging people who try to be different then tell us they are just trying to fit in?

And yes my entire wardrobe is jeans and polo shirts, I don't really care. It's practical and I don't have to spend half an hour deciding what to wear and getting into it (green shorts go with navy blue shirts, right?). I used to be into punk and what not, then I lost track of the countless sub genres. I still listen to the music, I just don't see the point in dressing to suit what music you like anymore.

As for the emo music itself, I can't understand what the hell they are on about. It's bad poetry with music.