Stupid People

FordGirl · 31-01-2006, 08:17 AM

There were these 2 girls down at the service station in their little excel filling up with petrol, and one of the girls has said to the other "Something is really really wrong with my car, I have to take it to a mechanic", the other girl has agreed and said "you're right, I'd be taking it to a mechanic straight away, thats just not right!" ... they kept talking like this for a while then when she finished pumping the fuel she said "Yeah, I will take it to a mechanic, this isnt right. It takes a different amount of fuel EVERY time I fill it up!"

:

I'm sure this has been done before, but what are the stupidest things you've heard people say about cars?

Mrs347stroker · 31-01-2006, 08:20 AM

My friend had bought and brand new excel years ago and she said "the best thing about this car is it will never lose it's value". Pity she sold it for next to nothing when she bought a new car.

Ringo · 31-01-2006, 08:25 AM

I was on a defensive driving course to get cheaper insurance years ago. During the panic brake and swerve monuvuers we where getting a bit of tyre smoke wafting around the place which this Sigma driving guy must have been smelling for the first time......because he comes out with this

"that smoke stinks.....can you get perfumed tyres that don't smell when you skid ?"

Paris Hilton · 31-01-2006, 08:29 AM

"in a rear wheel drive car, the back brakes need to be bigger because that's where all the braking is done"

vanessa0305 · 31-01-2006, 08:34 AM

My brother had a little Gemini and it had a sump oil leak. My dad (a mechanic for 50 years or so) told him to go to auto barn and get a kit and drain the oil and fit the new gasket. Well later in the day dad gets a call..."so what do I do with the left over bits of the gasket" WTF??

Gunns · 31-01-2006, 10:08 AM

There is aways the good old "710"

FordFan86 · 31-01-2006, 11:25 AM

I work in a service station, I get some reallllly good ones.
Only one that comes to mind right now tho is this: An Indian guy driving an XF came in and was at the back of the store for awhile.. I was just going to give him a hand when he came up to the counter, with 6 CJ8 spark plugs (lawnmower plugs I think, or toaster, one or the other) I asked if he was doing a bit of work on some lawnmowers, to which he replied "No they're for my car" I told him they won't fit and he should go down to supercheap and tell them what he has... I had a pretty good laugh at that afterwards.

Simmo · 31-01-2006, 11:27 AM

the usual people saying falcons have V6s. the same people usually drive commodores. also nearly going insane trying to explain diff ratios. "as if 4.11 will make it quick, the engine has to spin more, therefore it wont go as quick." nothing really dumb though.

FordFan86 · 31-01-2006, 11:34 AM

There's also the ones that think they know it, but in reality.. it just gives the rest of us a good laugh.
"Well, I've read turbo is better, because it doesn't drain any extra power from the engine"
"I've read that superchargers are bad because they use up to 30% of the engines power to drive it, and, in most cases the engine doesn't make the power back"
"What's that sponge thing at the front? (Exposer air filter on a 4cyl FWD...)"
"I just want to buy it so I can drive it till it blows a head gasket and I can get a full aftermarket rebuild"
People opening up their radiator caps while they are still under pressure on the driveway can give a few good laughs aswell.
EDIT: One fully sick kid I knew from school got himself a telstar wagon, he did a mechanics course and one lesson he brought his car into the workshop. The rest of the students where like "Whoa dude you have a turbo" (pointing at the carby) Even the teacher went along with it, for a few weeks.

nang3 · 31-01-2006, 11:53 AM

I get these 2 from my mates all the time;

"But LS2's have 297kw, you should have got one of them instead of a Typhoon with only 270kw"

OR

"My LS1 VY SS ute is 250kw and cost me $45K driveaway, your Typhoon is 270kw and was $55K so you paid $10K more for only 20kw !!! "

naughtyfalcon · 31-01-2006, 12:07 PM

try telling a pers0n that kn0ws it all that deisels d0nt have spark plugs,,0r the h0le in the t0p is n0t where the water g0es.

and the 0ld ch0ke kn0b is n0t f0r h0lding handbags.

Psycho Chicken · 31-01-2006, 12:10 PM

We had some old nutbag in at work the other day. Just had his car serviced (povo pack Impreza or something). Was ranting and raving that the oil was slightly high on the dipstick. I checked it, had to be 2 mm over, if that. Eh, sucked a bit out and topped it up.

He then came into the office abusing everyone, trying to tell us we were ripping him off charging him for the extra oil. When it was pointed out we weren't, he then decided the oil must of been high because we didn't replace the filter and just filled it up. ИИИИИing and moaning that we stole his new filter and it happened last time. In the end he was told to go forth and multiply.

31-01-2006, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naughtyfalcon

try telling a pers0n that kn0ws it all that deisels d0nt have spark plugs,,0r the h0le in the t0p is n0t where the water g0es.

and the 0ld ch0ke kn0b is n0t f0r h0lding handbags.

People that cannot type using the right keys...

naughtyfalcon · 31-01-2006, 12:13 PM

the keyboard is not working properly s shutup and find ut why smething is happening befre critisizing.

will be buying new this afternn if that k with yu..

Felony · 31-01-2006, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naughtyfalcon

the keyboard is not working properly s shutup and find ut why smething is happening befre critisizing.

will be buying new this afternn if that k with yu..

LMAO@ the Z in criticising

gtfpv · 31-01-2006, 01:03 PM

seen this a nice girl went into a service station saying there was something wrong with her car and it wont start . the polite gentleman behind the counter who was asian and not good at speaking english offered his assistance he went out and opened the radiator cap. the hot water and steam fountained out all over him . AHHHHHHHHH VATER. HE STATED . poor buggar i hope he got her phone number at least.

montyv8 · 31-01-2006, 01:35 PM

my cousins friend asked me to look at her car as there was smoke coming out from the bonnet, and was using oil. i went and had a look at it, (early 626), opened the bonnet, laughed and asked her where the dipstick was....

she had taken the dipstick out to check the oil, then put the dipstick in the boot. then driven it, lots. so oil was coming out the hole and spraying onto the exhaust manifold. veeeeeery clever.

Brent79 · 31-01-2006, 02:23 PM

Those two idiots in logan who used a cigarette lighter to check if there was fuel in the tank. ...... There was *ouch*

Brent

naughtyfalcon · 31-01-2006, 02:54 PM

all fixed now,,happy

triple8nitro · 31-01-2006, 03:29 PM

LOL ME LOL (i am stupid sometimes)(its a starter motor thing)

sphell · 31-01-2006, 07:14 PM

My mate decided to service his VK commodore once and put 6 litres of oil in without realising that you have to take the old oil out. Oil sprayed EVERYWHERE and covered the engine bay. Now it's kind of a running joke that whenever something goes wrong with his car we say "Maybe it needs some oil?"

I used to work at Strathfield back in the day which was clearly a car audio workshop and we had a lady come in wanting me to fit new tyres lol.

:

There's been heaps more over the years but I can't think of them :(

Henry4000 · 31-01-2006, 07:55 PM

I had just fitted an ED motor to my XF and took it to the servo who advertised he would do engineer's certifications. He took one look and said, "this model was good when they put THIS engine in them, so, what am I certifying??"
THEN, I get 20 mins down the road with my FREE inspection slip and the cops pull me over, They ask me to pop the bonnet and the 2 cops have a look.
Cop #1 says "yes, this car was good when they fitted these engines."
I just agreed with him!
Cop#2 looks at the spaghetti-like intake manifold, smiles and says, "nice extractors."
gotta love 'em.......

sphell · 31-01-2006, 08:10 PM

HAHAHA I wish I knew that engineer when I had the turbos on my EA. "Yeah this model was good when they put the turbos on em".......classic ;)

Walkinshaw · 31-01-2006, 09:31 PM

I know somone who thaught their car would go better if they used two dizzy gear drives

mcflux · 31-01-2006, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FordFan86

"Well, I've read turbo is better, because it doesn't drain any extra power from the engine"
"I've read that superchargers are bad because they use up to 30% of the engines power to drive it, and, in most cases the engine doesn't make the power back"
"What's that sponge thing at the front? (Exposer air filter on a 4cyl FWD...)"

^^ What j4m35 said.

Quoting friends on MSN is fun :P This particular fellow wants a CRX and keeps referring to it as a "rex". I think he's taken out a loan for it, but hasn't purchased it yet. He's in vic, the "rex" is in SA.

**Papa Smurf** · 01-02-2006, 07:23 AM

The best one for me of ALL time is the "well, they are the same as a Torana, wouldnt you have one of THOSE in stock?" I love the look on their face when you say Yes they are but we STILL dont have them

snypereb · 01-02-2006, 03:40 PM

Thats a crack up lol!!

BoZZa17 · 01-02-2006, 04:16 PM

a mate in highschool. swore black and blue that the turbo flutter noise that you hear from alot of vl's was the turbo actually spinning BACKWARDS. =\ hawww diddy.

4.9 EF Futura · 01-02-2006, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FordFan86

People opening up their radiator caps while they are still under pressure on the driveway can give a few good laughs aswell.

Best one i've seen was on the SE freeway near mount barker. Guy had pulled over, i assume because the temp gauge must have been causing him some discomfort...

Im approaching as the bonnet is opened. I see him reach for the cap on the resevoir and im thinking "probably not the best idea if she's overheating...". Sure enough, i see the cap fly up and hit the underside of the bonnet... im pretty close to him now...

"thud thud" as i feel the cap go under my front tyre and then my back tyre...

InitialD · 01-02-2006, 09:54 PM

Being that I work at autobarn i get alot of laughs.. One recently

Steroid pumped wog comes in with his R33 Skyline that was soo stock it wasnt funny. Ofcourse had GTR decals from here to tasmania...

"Oi bro, I wanna get a boostgauge oright? what kinds ya got"
showed him some, then asked if it could be fitted. Turns out he didnt even have a turbo on the car. "Thought" that it could be wired up to go up with the speedo to impress the chicks :S