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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

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Old 01-01-2005, 10:25 AM   #1
normell
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Default Sum more jokes

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AUSTRALIAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED-She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
He does not act like a TOTAL *** - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
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Old 01-01-2005, 10:35 AM   #2
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lmao! once again youve come through with the goods bro lol

think you need to become the AFFFSSFGT lol ( the Australian ford forums funny sh*t supplier for good times)

keep em coming aye
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:24 AM   #3
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hahaha wish I had those about ten years ago lmao
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Old 12-09-2007, 06:15 PM   #4
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very nice...lol
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Old 12-09-2007, 07:40 PM   #5
[Tonko]
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Quote:
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
Sad but true...
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Old 13-09-2007, 09:45 AM   #6
uranium_death
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Why is Santa's sack so full?
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Old 13-09-2007, 10:24 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uranium_death
Why is Santa's sack so full?
because he only comes once a year
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Old 13-09-2007, 10:56 AM   #8
charles_wif_xf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by |||
because he only comes once a year
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Old 13-09-2007, 11:17 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by |||
because he only comes once a year
Yes but he comes to lots and lots of houses
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Old 13-09-2007, 12:42 PM   #10
nommic
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Hehehe, better hide that list from the missus

Quote:
Originally Posted by normell
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
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Old 13-09-2007, 04:18 PM   #11
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mmmm the naughty girl list
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Old 13-09-2007, 05:02 PM   #12
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Q: What does Fred Flintstone have in common with Osama Bin Laden?

A: When they look next door, they both see rubble.
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