Arguing with a female

ford.boy · 07-01-2005, 04:15 PM

Enjoy lads,

The Allied Invasion. The Trojan Horse. The Divine Plan. The following strategy puts them all to shame because it defines how to finally defeat the great beast of society: women.

Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.

Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.
Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole ****in' Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ***, small boobs, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.

Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bullshit. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." ****es them off. Just trust me.

Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It ****es them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to shit. Again, mind games.

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.

Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.

FordFan86 · 07-01-2005, 04:39 PM

well im just a great big pushover i'd fold easily :P
and some of thats a bit mean :(

but its a joke and still pretty funny

ford.boy · 07-01-2005, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FordFan86

well im just a great big pushover i'd fold easily :P
and some of thats a bit mean :(

but its a joke and still pretty funny

I hasten to add these aren't neccesarily my view ;)

**Stav** · 07-01-2005, 05:06 PM

When dealing with women all you need is a voice like Barry White and its all over!!

:

"yer baby weve got it goin on"

Angry Beaver · 07-01-2005, 05:55 PM

oh i see that men still dont know how to fight so they are resort to dirty tactics. typical.. god it was funny....

Woz · 07-01-2005, 06:01 PM

**Takes notes**

Thank YOU!

fordchick · 07-01-2005, 06:14 PM

Methinks someone has a death wish! lol

And i must be dating a chick then cause most of that pertains to him more than me!!!

Woz · 07-01-2005, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fordchick

Methinks someone has a death wish! lol

Methinks someone just doesn't know better.

MotherNatureVer2 · 07-01-2005, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs casper

oh i see that men still dont know how to fight so they are resort to dirty tactics. typical.. god it was funny....

LMAO .........

What amuses me most is the fact that they still dont realise they wont win :P

Women are all powerful & I will still stick to "THE RULES" :P

Bwhahahahhahahahahaahahaa :evil3:

Casper · 07-01-2005, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MotherNature

LMAO .........

What amuses me most is the fact that they still dont realise they wont win :P

True, we never win

We also dont really care....we have attentionspan like godfish.....

I need to wash my car...what were you saying?

MotherNatureVer2 · 07-01-2005, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

True, we never win

We also dont really care....we have attentionspan like godfish.....

I need to wash my car...what were you saying?

Bwhahahaha see yet another well trained male

FordFan86 · 07-01-2005, 07:29 PM

LMAO! Casper

07-01-2005, 08:00 PM

Arguing is just a waste of energy.

champsky · 07-01-2005, 10:23 PM

just tell em to get in the kitchen and make ya some pie guys lol

*cringes, getting ready for some b**ch slaps*

plz dont hurt me

but seriously guys, just act like you care and let them think theyre right lol, it'll stop the argument quicker lol j/k :P

more time to work on ya car/ watch tv/ postwhore on AFF :P

SpoolMan · 07-01-2005, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MotherNature

Women are all powerful

Hi MotherNature, how do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent .
.
.
She will start her sentence like this.
.

A man once told me.
lol. :Reverend:

champsky · 07-01-2005, 10:53 PM

bwhahahahahahahaha

and why are womens feet smaller than mens?????

gets em that much closer to the kitchen sink :o lol

bafel · 07-01-2005, 10:55 PM

ah yes, arguing with the ex was usually when something good was on telly. Man thats annoying!

LuvinmyEB · 07-01-2005, 11:13 PM

There are two schools of thought about arguing with women.
Neither of them work.

We'll outsmart, out think and out do you every time.

Meh men... you can't fight an unarmed army. :evil_laug

champsky · 07-01-2005, 11:32 PM

nah ya got too many distractions for us aye lol

could lead this off into another topic of a certain desription but ill leave it at that

07-01-2005, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fordchick

Methinks someone has a death wish! lol

And i must be dating a chick then cause most of that pertains to him more than me!!!

Same here

And # 6...girls fart too you know

champsky · 07-01-2005, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xrgran

Same here

And # 6...girls fart too you know

oh i know that only too well lol

xdc351 · 07-01-2005, 11:44 PM

Lol, funny stuff...

I've actually tried a few of these before. Its dangerous... like bunjy jumping with a well used rope. You might land safely this time, but the jump that f***s you up for life could be next!

JADED6 · 08-01-2005, 02:42 AM

Ahhhhh "THE POWER"
we know you chicks have it.
How, between 1890 & 1990 you got it I don't know but we'll get it back even if it takes us a hundred years.
I don't wish to see women as the typical "home maker"
Just to eliminate their dirty tactics. (see example below)

THE absolute worst one is using the fact they are a girl to get out of certain things they don't want to do, but the second anyone says, oh you wont be able to do it cos you're a girl, they'll scream sexist , chauvinist etc etc...

Another is they can blame anything they want on monthly cycles.

Luv yas though girls.......

Casper · 08-01-2005, 06:59 AM

Yes.....well........
We all know that eqaulity and equal oppertunity ends as soon as a tyre goes flat. When that happens its a "mans" job to change it.

:

Feathers · 08-01-2005, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

Yes.....well........
We all know that eqaulity and equal oppertunity ends as soon as a tyre goes flat. When that happens its a "mans" job to change it.

:

Unless the "Man" watches and waits until you're 3/4 of the way through changing it, and already covered in brake dust before asking if you need help.

:

RED_EL_XR8 · 08-01-2005, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feathers

Unless the "Man" watches and waits until you're 3/4 of the way through changing it, and already covered in brake dust before asking if you need help.

:

Where are you finding your men Feathers? Its a wonder he didn't say "while your down there!!"

Angry Beaver · 08-01-2005, 09:00 AM

excuse me you chauvinistic, egotistical male pig.......... i would change a tyre if it needed it but unfortunately when they do up the nuts with those stupid male invented air guns, then i admit i have no strength to get them undone. so shove that little comment thank you. and where do you think you are sleeping tonight. as for the rest of you just wait just wait until you get a women who you actually care about. those little comments that you make will be out the door faster than your head can turn.

:

Casper · 08-01-2005, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs casper

excuse me you chauvinistic, egotistical male pig.......... i would change a tyre if it needed it but unfortunately when they do up the nuts with those stupid male invented air guns, then i admit i have no strength to get them undone. so shove that little comment thank you. and where do you think you are sleeping tonight. as for the rest of you just wait just wait until you get a women who you actually care about. those little comments that you make will be out the door faster than your head can turn.

:

* Casper does an impression of an gold fish and swims off to wash the car

py:

Feathers · 08-01-2005, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RED_EL_XR8

Where are you finding your men Feathers? Its a wonder he didn't say "while your down there!!"

Then he would have copped a wheel brace to the head.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs casper

unfortunately when they do up the nuts with those stupid male invented air guns, then i admit i have no strength to get them undone.

You can ask that they don't use the rattle guns. they look at you stupidly, and probably whinge that it's more work for them, but too bad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by casper

* Casper does an impression of an gold fish and swims off to wash the car

That'll be one squeaky clean car Casper, weren't you heading off to do that in another thread??

loxxr6 · 08-01-2005, 09:10 AM

excuse me you chauvinistic, egotistical male pig.......... i would change a tyre if it needed it but unfortunately when they do up the nuts with those stupid male invented air guns, then i admit i have no strength to get them undone. so shove that little comment thank you. and where do you think you are sleeping tonight. as for the rest of you just wait just wait until you get a women who you actually care about. those little comments that you make will be out the door faster than your head can turn.

To quote D12 - someone's jacking off tonight lol

I feel your pain however, I'm always in the shit with the evil half.