English/Cricket funnies...

[HLC]

The English cricket board are making a help-line available for disillusioned fans who are disappointed with their team's 'shock'
crushing by Australia in the 2006/2007 Ashes Tour.

The help-line number is 1800 10 10 10


That's 1800 won nothing won nothing won nothing!!!

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Question: What is your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing a English cricket shirt to bed?


Answer: You ain't gonna score!!!


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Osama Bin Laden has appeared on Iraqi TV this morning to quell rumours of his death in an explosion in Baghdad yesterday.

To prove that appearance was not pre-recorded Osama stated that he, "watched the Ashes on the weekend and England were crap!"

UK and US government officials have dismissed the report saying it could of happened any time over the decade.


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Question: What is the difference between England and an arsonist?

Answer: An arsonist wouldn't waste that many matches...

[drcook]

BILLY'S GAY DANCER DAD

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."

[MITCHAY]

LMFAO! I hope we smash them in the 20/20 too and put icing on the cake. The base is prepped.

Cake is good but cake with icing is better

[Ford_Boy]

Originally Posted by drcook

BILLY'S GAY DANCER DAD

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."

ahahahhahaha did you make that one up? that was funny lol

[Ford_Boy]

Originally Posted by HLC

The English cricket board are making a help-line available for disillusioned fans who are disappointed with their team's 'shock'
crushing by Australia in the 2006/2007 Ashes Tour.

The help-line number is 1800 10 10 10


That's 1800 won nothing won nothing won nothing!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------


Question: What is your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing a English cricket shirt to bed?


Answer: You ain't gonna score!!!


---------------------------------------------------------------


Osama Bin Laden has appeared on Iraqi TV this morning to quell rumours of his death in an explosion in Baghdad yesterday.

To prove that appearance was not pre-recorded Osama stated that he, "watched the Ashes on the weekend and England were crap!"

UK and US government officials have dismissed the report saying it could of happened any time over the decade.


--------------------------------------------------------------


Question: What is the difference between England and an arsonist?

Answer: An arsonist wouldn't waste that many matches...

lol that wife one is hillarious

[Ringo]

more......more ......

[rodderz]

Q. How does Steve Harmison or Ashley Giles ensure the next ball will take a wicket?
A:They bat

Q. Which englishman spent the most time at the crease in the Ashes?
A. the one who irons all the uniforms

Q. whats an english hat-trick in cricket?
A. 3 runs in 3 balls

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.