Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated.

Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-09-2007, 06:02 AM   #1
normxb
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
normxb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Sitting on the Dunny , Contemplating "What to do Next".
Posts: 505
Default Gates V GM (or Ford)

To keep it balanced read as GMH or FORD :- ( Probably Old , but good for a Laugh )

How True Is This .....

Gates vs GM (or read as Ford)

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating:

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.....Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable,five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single
"This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate their computer!

__________________
XB Futura 302 , Wife ED Fairmont ,1994 Polynesian Green.
Daughter No 1 KJ Laser , Daughter No 2 KH Laser

Keeping FORDS in the family

(Embarressment :yeees: , Son now has a "Camira" : )
"Look Right , Look Left , Look Right , BEFORE crossing Roads"
normxb is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 10-09-2007, 06:52 AM   #2
the_scotsman
MY21.5 Mustang GT
 
the_scotsman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Shoalhaven, NSW
Posts: 2,450
Default

I think that's older than Bill Gates himself...but still a classic!
__________________
2021 Mustang GT in Rapid Red | XDA-Developers Assistant Admin
the_scotsman is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 10-09-2007, 07:11 AM   #3
tpintas
Regular Member
 
tpintas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 152
Default

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Japanese haiku poetry, each only 17 syllables, 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in the third:

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located but
Countless more exist.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
tpintas is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 10-09-2007, 07:35 AM   #4
fou_bleu
Get EcoBoosted
 
fou_bleu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NSW: Newcastle, Sydney & Wollongong
Posts: 1,876
Default

Classics!
fou_bleu is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Reply


Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 12:49 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL