classic sterio types that get in the way.

[Bushbasher]

After reading the bonehead incident thread it got me thinking about all the typical mobile chicanes on the road that get in the way or generally give you grief so thought it would be a laugh to list some of the ones you come across. Now, I've never been a city dweller so my list is more about small/medium town and rural pains in the a$$; here's a couple to get us started...



1- The doddering old man/woman in the old corolla-pulsar-lancer etc. who can barely see over the steering wheel and struggles to get out of 3rd gear on the road, is a menace in a car park and has the reaction time of a sleeping wombat.

2- The doddering old man in the last falcon/commodore he bought so see out his days, usually over 10 yrs old and as much as 30yrs old or more. the older the car the older and more dangerous the driver usually. He never takes off his hat and won't give ground to anyone anytime cos it's his god given right to be on the road and drive however he likes cos he's been here alot longer than you sonny. He has the same reaction time and driving style as group 1 but is blessed with the arrogance and ignorance to just not give a sh!t.

3- The sad, lonely. Usually driving the run down Nissan Vanette/Toyota Liteace or similar but sometimes some other piece of crap that is too slow to get out of it's own way. Easily spotted because the cabin is full of pets. Usually one or more of those annoying little yap yap dogs but just as likely to be the biggest, fattest dog/s you can imagine and even a cat or two. He's a skinny emaciated looking specimen with said yap yap sitting on his lap as he drives. He can't cook, and lives on beer and tobacco, with yellow fingers and teeth from a lifetime of chain smoking rollies. She's usually somewhat larger and you wonder how she manages to get behind the wheel of the Vanette and steer without getting the wheel stuck in her gut.

4- (My personal pet hate) The local ignorant cocky who thinks it's HIS bit of road because he has paddocks/properties either side( this can be 50m or 50km) and no matter what or when, he'll putt up the highway at no more than 80km/h even though he's only carrying a bale of hay and a drum of oil, and he'll never yield or pull off the road to let traffic by no matter what. You can pick him by the beat up sad looking old 4x4 tray top ute that's never been washed and, like group 2, he never takes off his hat which is usually a sad, wide brimmed thing with no shape or structure left in it cos it's as old as he and his ute is. He's also blessed with the same attitude as group 2 so he never looks in his mirrors to see what's going on behind him cos he don't give a rats....


There's got to be plenty more so who's got one to share?


Bushbasher

[FrogInASock]

How about the young, six-feet-tall-and-bulletproof KID in the SS Commonwhore ute (it's always a Commonwhore ute, never seems to be a Falcon!), no doubt bought with a massive bank loan or Holden Certified to send you broke Finance, darting in and out of traffic like it's no-one's business, burning enormous amounts of expensive premium unleaded to do so, and STILL can't run out of sight on a dark night because of traffic and red lights and stop signs?

Are you listening, black ute driver who we caught up with three times in 500 metres while driving home from the Air Force base last Thursday afternoon in my mate's Daewoo?

[alecrain]

What about a classic:
Takes place usually on Sundays, an older lady with a friend in a Toyota Crappola driving ~20 k's under on some one lane, winding road with no opportunities to overtake, just to speed up when road becomes straight for a moment (or overtaking lane appears).
You're stuck behind her (so are 10 cars behind you) for ages, then when you approach a town with a speed limit of 60km/h, she doesn't slow down and continues through still doing 80km/h.

[manxman]

Take a chill-pill boyo, or you are going to get yourself and others into trouble! It's called tolerance, and you seem to be lacking it. Yeah, sure they don't dive perfectly, but I'd hate to be in with you. This is exactly why young people have such bad accident statistics.

Patience is a virtue, posses it if you can. Seldom in a woman, never in a man.

[Bushbasher]

Originally Posted by alecrain

What about a classic:
Takes place usually on Sundays, an older lady with a friend in a Toyota Crappola driving ~20 k's under on some one lane, winding road with no opportunities to overtake, just to speed up when road becomes straight for a moment (or overtaking lane appears).
You're stuck behind her (so are 10 cars behind you) for ages, then when you approach a town with a speed limit of 60km/h, she doesn't slow down and continues through still doing 80km/h.

Mate, it doesn't have to be a sunday, i get that at least once a week and it's so frustrating. I drive for a mail contractor and we're on a tight schedule to be certain places by certain times and getting held up for 20-30km can make a big difference to arrival times and if you're late the postmaster needs to know why and has to write reports about it to head office. No matter that some peanut worked out the timetable while doing the trip in a nice comfy fast sedan while not considering that the contractor is in an 18tonne truck that won't drive up a hill at 100kph fully loaded.

Originally Posted by manxman

Take a chill-pill boyo, or you are going to get yourself and others into trouble! It's called tolerance, and you seem to be lacking it. Yeah, sure they don't dive perfectly, but I'd hate to be in with you. This is exactly why young people have such bad accident statistics.

I think you might need one of those pills too, I didn't read anywhere that said anyone was busting to pass and wanting to beat the driver to death, just pointing out the problem


Bushbasher

[StAndArdAU]

Hows about the guy/girrl in the old 70 series poo brown Landcruiser Troopy waiting to turn onto the road you are travelling, decides they are in too much of an impatient hurry to wait for you to pass and instead pulls out forcing you to press hard on the brakes until you are almost touching his rear end. Then of course the old POS slowly moves through gears chugging away filling your aircon with its black exhaust, until it finally gets up to sitting 20k under speed limit and you now have 5-6 cars banked up your butt. To top it all off they acknowledge your peeved attitude by flicking a single half finished cigarrette out their window...

[uranium_death]

Camry and Corolla drivers drive me spastic often.
Crawling in the right hand lane, not holding lines on turns, not giving way...

We all know who drives Toyotas...and what great driving instructors they are = more "great" drivers on the road.

Wow...two stereotypes in one...on fire! :SaiyanSmi

[paule11]

One word to strike fear into your hearts VOLVO Asian woman wearing a hat its time to get off the road pull over and pray that no one gets hit

[Bossxr8]

Originally Posted by uranium_death

Camry and Corolla drivers drive me spastic often.
Crawling in the right hand lane, not holding lines on turns, not giving way...

We all know who drives Toyotas...and what great driving instructors they are = more "great" drivers on the road.

Wow...two stereotypes in one...on fire! :SaiyanSmi

Yep, Camry's and Corolla's are the new Volvos.

[irlewy86]

The "I just a bought an SS and must stay in front of every Ford on the road" while a specific catagory it represents all the people who belive they should be driving faster than you. You know the ones that sit on 95km/h on the highway but when see you overtaking them speed up.

[calais]

..... deleted my post.

[xy500]

geez what about the soccer mum in the 4be? don't think i need to detail that one...
a local occurence in these parts is the upper class snob, usually seen in a bmw x5 or a mercedes/audi/range rover 4wd, with NAT numberplates.
likes to drive either consistently 10-20km/h under the limit or 10-20km/h over the limit, but never EVER on the limit. (when the roads have no overtaking lanes its a pita). Will drive as if they own the road, cos gee they probably do, will pull in front of you just to check your brakes work properly, will proceed to speed up when you attempt to overtake, and will always look down their nose at anyone in a falcon heaven forbid!

[86XFFairmont]

lol u guys reckon u got it bad try toorak in melb or just melb in general, i drive a tow truck and the most amout of crashes r due to taxis couriers or just pplz in mercs peugeots vw' all the expensive cars and their driving when they aint crashn aint much better, i own a ford v8 and wen im not at work yeah i like to go out croozin mainly fri and satday nite and its alot safer even with all the crashes on princess hwy (dandenong rd) than what it is during the day.

[GasoLane]

If you want to really stereotype them you could categorise them by the 'fear factor", ie how much you fear for you cars paintwork when travelling near them.

Under 25 yo .................................................. ....................................... Fear Factor 1
As above and wearing a Baseball hat............................................... ............FF 2
The Baseball hat is white............................................. .............................FF 3
As above with lowered car............................................... .........................FF 4
As above with Exhaust you can fit your arm in...............................................F F 5
As above with 20" and above wheels............................................ ...............FF 6
As above with drivers seat so low they have to look through the steering wheel........FF 7
All the above and with P plates............................................ ......................FF8


Did I miss anyone ?

[pauljh74]

Originally Posted by GasOLane

If you want to really stereotype them you could categorise them by the 'fear factor", ie how much you fear for you cars paintwork when travelling near them.

Under 25 yo .................................................. ....................................... Fear Factor 1
As above and wearing a Baseball hat............................................... ............FF 2
The Baseball hat is white............................................. .............................FF 3
As above with lowered car............................................... .........................FF 4
As above with Exhaust you can fit your arm in...............................................F F 5
As above with 20" and above wheels............................................ ...............FF 6
As above with drivers seat so low they have to look through the steering wheel........FF 7
All the above and with P plates............................................ ......................FF8


Did I miss anyone ?

As above with 20" and above wheels on the front only - stockies on the back...........................FF9

[Bushbasher]

Originally Posted by GasOLane

If you want to really stereotype them you could categorise them by the 'fear factor", ie how much you fear for you cars paintwork when travelling near them.

Under 25 yo .................................................. ....................................... Fear Factor 1
As above and wearing a Baseball hat............................................... ............FF 2
The Baseball hat is white............................................. .............................FF 3
As above with lowered car............................................... .........................FF 4
As above with Exhaust you can fit your arm in...............................................F F 5
As above with 20" and above wheels............................................ ...............FF 6
As above with drivers seat so low they have to look through the steering wheel........FF 7
All the above and with P plates............................................ ......................FF8


Did I miss anyone ?

[Josh L]

Taxis Drivers... need I say more?

[Silver Ghia]

Taxi drivers, yes they are consistently amongst the worst that get in the way, in the right hand lanes generally.

And what about the ones that drive well over the speed limit, must get in front (no problem to me), but then all of a sudden they slow down and drive erratically. Then I pass them again at exactly at the same speed all along confirming yes, they are on the mobile phone.

[Thom]

i hate the ones that just have to tear around you just to slam on the brakes to turn of right in front of you

[Burnout]

Originally Posted by Bushbasher

2- The doddering old man in the last falcon/commodore he bought so see out his days, usually over 10 yrs old and as much as 30yrs old or more. the older the car the older and more dangerous the driver usually. He never takes off his hat and won't give ground to anyone anytime cos it's his god given right to be on the road and drive however he likes cos he's been here alot longer than you sonny. He has the same reaction time and driving style as group 1 but is blessed with the arrogance and ignorance to just not give a .


Bushbasher

You mongrel, that's me!

[Bushbasher]

Originally Posted by Burnedout

You mongrel, that's me!

GOLD!!