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| The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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03-08-2005, 09:21 AM
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The car's got pickup
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cairns
Posts: 1,720
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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. ____________________________________ Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn and what are these?Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. ____________________________________ Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! ____________________________________ Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Easy, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. For example, John Howard has is .5 to one and Amanda is two to one. She is the only politician in Parliament who occupies two seats! ____________________________________ Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain? ...Good! ____________________________________ Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? ____________________________________ Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger, right? . You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. ____________________________________ Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! ____________________________________ Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure,explain whales to me. ____________________________________ Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! ____________________________________ Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. |
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03-08-2005, 10:17 AM
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my other ride is the bus.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Under a rock.
Posts: 1,367
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Oh my god... I've been doing it all wrong!
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1994 ED Fairmont Ghia (Retired to the shed...) 1999 AU Futura + Lots of Land Rovers Quote:
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03-08-2005, 10:26 AM
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Formally knowen as EBus
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Brisvegas Northside
Posts: 685
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lmao hahahahahahahahahahahaha that was good
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Car: :evilking: 91 EB Fairmont 3.9L :evilking: Changes: 5 spd manual Extractors, 2.5in exhaust AMG Quake 17's w/ maxxis rubba Lovelle superlows Cheap a55 Pod Filter Bike: CR250R 05 :evil3: |
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03-08-2005, 11:12 AM
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#4 | ||
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Back Seat Driver
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 166
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Hehe I thought I was the only one proclaiming that Cocoa beans are a vegetable.
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Great advice from Dogbreath_48 about selling a car: "umm..maybe edit your post a little bit. Leave out the bit about running over over your dog, remove the word 'sic', as well as the aformentioned washing/tidying!" |
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03-08-2005, 12:37 PM
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#5 | |||
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The car's got pickup
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cairns
Posts: 1,720
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Quote:
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