Dating 2006 - A girls view

[Bobman]

Generally speaking, "larger" people are more friendly yes, but I believe they do try harder in life to achieve the same things as people who are lesser weight challenged.

Many skinny & attractive girls are rude, obnoxious and have attitude, which is exactly why guys have limited choices in the first place, who wants a girl like that?

[chich]

Originally Posted by XR6Gal

And no they don't need to be more friendly, they simply just are.

Yes i'm sure. Red cars also go faster..

[GK]

I found that many (not all of course) fantastic looking women were shallow, and too interested in appearances, going for the best looking guys. It was the "plain Jane" types that made the better conversation and friends.

And I'm quick to add, that I've seen many a Plain Jane blossom into a beautiful woman over the years. I also found that those women are the ones not used to male attention, and therefore seemed genuinely more appreciative of it when it's given. There is also less relationship pretense, and a better chance of good friendship.

Of course I sound like I'm bagging out the more physically attractive women, not so, but in my life, I've been put down, judged, ignored by those types, far more often than the other.

Now as a teacher, I counsel students to look very carefully at the character of people, and decide from there whether a potential life partner is a possibility. In fact, I was talking with one Yr 11 student yesterday about this very thing. She was trying to listen in of course, as she was sitting next to him (very cute) in the Computer Lab!

GK

[vztrt]

Originally Posted by GK

I found that many (not all of course) fantastic looking women were shallow, and too interested in appearances, going for the best looking guys.

Yes I've known girls like this as well, but I've found that they are still very self conscious of themselves and you can easily bring them down a peg or two by playing on these fears. I dont know if it's the right thing to do but sometimes they deserve it when they treat others like crap.

[NC-302]

Originally Posted by promina

poison_ivy

i am a very shy guy. i have lots of morals about respect for women. because i will not be sleazey ever, i will never have a gf. because girls dont notice the quite guys. hence why im almost 22, never kissed a girl/had sex. *shrug* i dont plan to change, it looks like im going to be single for a while lol.

promina

Mate, I'm in exactly the same position as you. 22, never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl (I'm glad this forum is anonymous ). I'm not after a quick root either, I actually want to be in a proper relationship, and I have nothing but respect for women. My problem is that I’m naturally shy, and talking to even vaguely attractively girls is extremely difficult. I tend to get so nervous that I can barley say hello.

It's not just us either, my best mate is basically the same, and were both bloody hopeless when it comes to women. In the last few months we’ve been egging each other on and have finally started going to pubs/clubs on Saturday nites, but we’re both so shy that we tend to just talk to each other. The only times that I’ve managed to actually initiate a conversation with a woman, is when I’ve been so plastered that I could barely stand up, and I have no doubt that I just made a nob out of myself. I’m starting to think that pubs and clubs aren’t the best way to meet women anyway, but I can’t think of anything else.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago I bumped into a girl that I used to know and had a short conversation with her (she was working in a supermarket). I then somehow managed to go back at the end of her shift, and ask her out. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever done. Unfortunately she had a boyfriend, but the fact that I finally had the balls to ask has at least made me feel like I’m not a completely lost cause. Maybe there is hope for both of us, but as you said we could be single for a while yet.

[Gunns]

I am one of the lucky guys on here. I have and long term GF. We have a friend who runs a modeling agency and we were at one of his fuctions when the NRL state of origin was on and I got talking to a lot of the model that were there and a lot of them and really quite nice and down to earth and don't fit that snob, "I am to good for you" profile. There were a couple like that, but on the whole a nice group of ladies. Most of them want to find nice guys, but they say they are hard to find. I was told that it is never the nice guy that comes to say hello or to buy them a drink, it is always the sleeze bag.
Don't worry about rejection, it is just that one step closer to the one that will say yes!

[NEG]

Girls dont want a 'Nice guy'. They are boring.
As a general rule dont listen to girls for dating advise, they dont even know what they want.
Also dont listen to anyone who says "just be yourself". I know people and if they were just being themselves would sit infront of the tv and smoke weed all day, and thats not going to get you a girl.

Girls love confident guys.
My guess is the guys here saying they cant get chicks arent very self confident. build up some confidence by just talking to random girls, dress nice go to the gym do whatever to gain more confidence in yourself.
Make good eye contact when talking.

Always smile Makes you seem like a fun possitive person.

For anyone who has trouble thinking of things to say to girls, just remember they love to talk about themselves. Ask open ended questions like; why do you drive a ford? :P or anything that cant be answered with one word, and actually LISTEN what she says and use that for further conversation.

[347_XR8]

Trust me the nice guy gets shafted ROYALLY! I'm a nice guy (so i've been told) and i reat this girl nice and end up getting pushed away whenever she wants with the words "I'm doing this because i love you". And i can't do squat because it's the way i am.
She tells me that in a month everything should be ok and that we shoudl get back together then, so we staye good friends. She told me NOT to wait for her and to go out get drunk and pick up. I'm not like that. I get the feeling that she is trying to rid of me to find someone else. But i don;t want to believe it. I have no idea what to think!

[XRated]

Originally Posted by 347_XR8

Trust me the nice guy gets shafted ROYALLY! I'm a nice guy (so i've been told) and i reat this girl nice and end up getting pushed away whenever she wants with the words "I'm doing this because i love you". And i can't do squat because it's the way i am.
She tells me that in a month everything should be ok and that we shoudl get back together then, so we staye good friends. She told me NOT to wait for her and to go out get drunk and pick up. I'm not like that. I get the feeling that she is trying to rid of me to find someone else. But i don;t want to believe it. I have no idea what to think!

I've had that. She will keep you on a tether whilst she goes looking or trying something else.

[347_XR8]

Originally Posted by XRated

I've had that. She will keep you on a tether whilst she goes looking or trying something else.

Thats what it sure does feel like..............................Ever since i went out on Saturday night i tend to get one word answers
Me: "How are you?"
Her: "good"
awkward silence
Me: "So how was work?"
Her: "Good"
awkward silence

See the pattern. Before that, even tho we weren't together we still talked heaps, it was like being together without the physical side, i'm going outta my head!

[fiery]

Originally Posted By 347_XR8
I get the feeling that she is trying to rid of me to find someone else. But i don;t want to believe it. I have no idea what to think!

Originally Posted By XRated
She will keep you on a tether whilst she goes looking or trying something else.

Originally Posted By 347_XR8
Thats what it sure does feel like

I hate to say this, but either you wouldn't take the it's over to well so maybe she tried to find a way to end things more quietly, or she is simply pathetic.
I would be thinking that she is stringing you along, but maybe she is confused herself and needs some time out..

Leave her some space for a few weeks and then give her a call and ask her straight out (or ask straight out now)..

I wish I could tell all you younger ones that it this dating rot gets any easier as you get older.. but it doesn't......

It just gets harder and more frustrating (that is not just one person's opinion either - a lot of my friends both male and female all agree to that).
But what is the choice?? Give up and just be alone or stick it out and hope to find someone that also wants to share their life with you.... :nutsycuck

[347_XR8]

It's just weird one minute it seems something is up, the next it seems like everything is fine. One day she will be all distant and the next she will call and message me and talk my ear off.
So i'm just sticking it out......................................Relations hips sure are a funny thing

[fordfuntastic]

Wheres Poison Ivy? With a name like that I may:

1. Break out in a rash

2. Get poisoned.

3. Spiked drink with a "screamer"

4. Get spanked

5. Or have a great time?

Now the odds are I pik up a chic put on some Hugo Boss, start up my 351 and hit the town with Poison Ivy next to me and the same named song on the cd player. Gee Im old fashioned so Ill open the door buy all the drinks, have a romantic dinner.............. and be a real gentleman.

Whos a mans best friend at the end off the day???



My Dog the Jack Russel! LOL. He drinks beer dont swear and walks with me without bitchin and thinks Im smellin like Hugo and puddles my leg as a sign of appreciation.


The cost? Just fun!

lol

[fiery]

Originally Posted by 347_XR8

It's just weird one minute it seems something is up, the next it seems like everything is fine. One day she will be all distant and the next she will call and message me and talk my ear off.
So i'm just sticking it out......................................Relations hips sure are a funny thing

That's why I suggested giving her some space.. She may be going through some weird unsure head stuff herself and trying to sort it all out.. It could be nothing at all and she just needs a bit of time out..

Hope it all works out for you though, and yes relationships are a funny thing and not easy.

Good luck and keep your chin up

[Bobman]

Lol nearly all girls apparently have "something going on" in their lives, who doesn't? It's not an excuse to waste someones time, be straight don't beat around the bush. Something some girls should take on board.

[347_XR8]

Originally Posted by fiery

That's why I suggested giving her some space.. She may be going through some weird unsure head stuff herself and trying to sort it all out.. It could be nothing at all and she just needs a bit of time out..

Hope it all works out for you though, and yes relationships are a funny thing and not easy.

Good luck and keep your chin up

Cheers Fiery, thanks for the advice! Lately i'm one determinded puppy. Thansk heaps!

[vztrt]

Originally Posted by Bobman

Lol nearly all girls apparently have "something going on" in their lives, who doesn't? It's not an excuse to waste someones time, be straight don't beat around the bush. Something some girls should take on board.

Yes I hate that as you waste your time and you can get annoying. Thats why I have the two call rule, if I get rejected twice I get rid of the number. Has bitten me in the but a couple of times but I dont play those games anymore, it's quite annoying.

But I think it needs to go both ways (yes guys stuff girls around as well), just be up front and honest, might not seem the best method up front but much better as there is less resentment.

[fiery]

Originally Posted by vztrt

But I think it needs to go both ways (yes guys stuff girls around as well), just be up front and honest, might not seem the best method up front but much better as there is less resentment.

totally agree 100%.... pity things aren't that simple eh...

Originally Posted by 347_XR8

Cheers Fiery, thanks for the advice! Lately i'm one determinded puppy. Thansk heaps!

Anytime.. glad to help

[gtfpv]

she maybe a lezzo. and unsure of herself .

[vztrt]

Originally Posted by fiery

totally agree 100%.... pity things aren't that simple eh...

I wish they were!

[XRated]

I'm really curious to know if anyone has actually given their partner "some time" or "some space" and actually lasted afterwards. It's a bit of a cop-out excuse if you ask me. What's wrong with being frank if you've made up your mind?

I'd like to think there's hope for you 347 and I could be proven wrong

From experience I won't put up with beating around the bush - with the ups and downs - along with the false hope because she is insecure of where her feelings are headed or how something will work out. I learnt the hard way, but at least I know for future reference.

Sometimes you have to face the facts... People change, so do feelings. Life isn't always ideal - far from it.

[fiery]

Originally Posted by XRated

I'm really curious to know if anyone has actually given their partner "some time" or "some space" and actually lasted afterwards.

Having a 'space' or 'time out' can actually make you stronger (or can break you)... My late partner (several years ago now), took some time out from each other.. We were fighting heaps and it was just impossible.. We took a month out (hardly any contact in the first 3 weeks), got back together and lasted another 3 years...

We were actually a lot happier after the break as we were able to sort through a lot of stuff and we both realised where the problems were so worked really hard on mending those problems...

[Bobman]

Just another thing though, from talking to a few girls in my age group over the years, 16-24, some of them treat relationships as "contracts", ie they'll have you until a better one comes along or they speak of their partner as "current boyfriend" etc.

We all need to really take a page out of some of the relationship veterans' book, those who have stayed together for 50,60 etc years and most of them say communication & constructive arguments keep the relationship alive and constant.

[pauljh74]

Originally Posted by 347_XR8

Trust me the nice guy gets shafted ROYALLY! I'm a nice guy (so i've been told) and i reat this girl nice and end up getting pushed away whenever she wants with the words "I'm doing this because i love you". And i can't do squat because it's the way i am.
She tells me that in a month everything should be ok and that we shoudl get back together then, so we stay good friends. She told me NOT to wait for her and to go out get drunk and pick up. I'm not like that. I get the feeling that she is trying to rid of me to find someone else. But i don't want to believe it. I have no idea what to think!

Cut the contact back and if she is genuinely interested, chances are she'll come after you by initiating some contact once she thinks she may lose you. Right now she's got you where she wants you.

I was interested in this girl a few years back, she wasn't sure if she was ready for a relationship after a bad experience about 6 months (!) before I met her. She was interested to a degree, we were e-mailing and stuff most days, we eventually teed up a date. She then reveals this guy who hurt her (emotionally) had contacted her and she didn't know what she was going to do. I figured I'm not going to waste my time if she's considering going back to this guy and called the date off. It took her about 3 days of no e-mails or chatting online for her to tell me she told him she didn't want to see him any more and she invited me out for the day. She was cute and sweet, a bit fragile perhaps, not the type to play games with people, but over a couple of dates it became clear we had some differences that meant it wasn't going to happen. It ended there pretty much.

She was put in a position where she realised she was about to lose something she wanted after I had been offering myself to her for some time. She didn't want me to walk away at that point and took action.

[347_XR8]

Originally Posted by XRated

I'm really curious to know if anyone has actually given their partner "some time" or "some space" and actually lasted afterwards. It's a bit of a cop-out excuse if you ask me. What's wrong with being frank if you've made up your mind?

I'd like to think there's hope for you 347 and I could be proven wrong

From experience I won't put up with beating around the bush - with the ups and downs - along with the false hope because she is insecure of where her feelings are headed or how something will work out. I learnt the hard way, but at least I know for future reference.

Sometimes you have to face the facts... People change, so do feelings. Life isn't always ideal - far from it.

I tend to put up with alot, it's my nature. I always see the brighter side of things in the long run.
I've decided i'm not gonna contact her and wait for her to contact me and see what happens. Just gotta suck it up.

Pauljh74, i'm similar. The chick that i was/am (however you want to put it) the reason she is the way she is, is because of her past relationship. Things tended to go beautifully for a month, then her past relationship came back.

Just gotta ride it out. Sometimes people to to loose sight, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I know i do