Monday Morning funnies

[Charliewool]

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by
the whole family there who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him
on his way with a gift cheque for $500.

At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an18-carat
gold box.
The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house a blonde in her lingerie met him at the door. She
took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she
blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the blonde fixed
him a giant breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and
freshly squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a $5 note sticking out from under the cup's
bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said,
but what's the five dollars for?"
Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today
would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you".
"I asked him what to give you".

He said, "F * * * him... Give him five bucks."
She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."

[Charliewool]

Latex Gloves

A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very
nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.

"No, I don't" she replied.

Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in China with a big tank of latex and
workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them
dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into
boxes of the right size."

She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure,
she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.

[Feathers]

Hahahahaha

[bindi]

Bwahahahahahahahaha! Brilliant! :evil3:

[devilracer_01]

Nice work :hihi:

[Shonky]

Hahahaha!

Good stuff...

Keep 'em coming!

[LuvinmyEB]

LOL! :

[zetec]

sweeet

[megsy]

Lol! :