Girlfriend 7.0 Upgrade to Wife 1.0

[*rayman*]

Girlfriend 7.0 Upgrade to Wife 1.0

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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Hockey 12.4, Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golf 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User




REPLY:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend undefined Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[agony]

: :

go *rayman*

[gozza]

clever
i liked it

[Inferno]

Heh, I remember this. I see it's been modified from the one I remember.

[Poetic Justice]

I've seen one that goes for a lot longer than that, but funny nonetheless

My prob:

Can you please advise me. I'm having some problems. I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 all along as my primary application, and all the girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run girlfriend in background mode with the sound turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't have enough cache to run girlfriend 2.0, and that eventually it would require a Token ring to run properly. He was right --- as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

I very cautiously upgraded to girlfriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system! Then I tried to run GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of girlfriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions! The version I have right now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly, I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented". A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a "huge resource hog". It has taken up all of his space, so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreesexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although -he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0 which has an automatic pop-up feature that he can't turn off. I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself, Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway due to insufficient resources. Can you help??

[347_XR8]

Love it! Thats all i gotta say

[RavenLS1]

thats gold

[chief]

Very creative. Love it.

[EFIwindsor]

bloody M-A-R-V-E-L-L-O-U-S!!!!

[Blue Oval Mopar Man]

2 things!

1. Where the hell did the computer geek find a girlfriend, and how did he spend enough time with her to find out that his computer did all the same things his girlfreind did anyways?

and

2. I am not good with even the girlfreind programs . Long before I even consider using the fiance or wife programs, I usually delet an get a new version only to realise it runs the same as the others. !!!!!!!!!! :

[RspecAU]

that was very funny....dosn't look like i'm getting Wife !.0

[rodderz]

Maybe there are versions you can get with "magazines" where you can try before you buy?

[romaniac]

haha good stuff

[XAGSV8]

Ha Ha, I'm upgrading to Wife 1.0 in two weeks and four day's. I have had the girlfriend program installed for 7 years now.

[merlin]

Yes I too am upgrading to Wife 1.0 in a month. Little bit worried now after reading these technical problems. I hope a patch will come out soon to fix the bugs?

[fiery]

am wondering if this is a similar problem that some women are having with the boyfriend program??????..

sounding very similar :

[smally289]

I had Wife 1.0, but the program turned on me and emptied my bank account. Then Wife 1.0 uninstalled itself but left me with Kids 3.0, which is a bit of a pain in the bum. I have tried a few versions of Girlfriend, from 1.0 to 8.0. The last version (8.0) seems pretty good, even if it does go down on me sometimes! I don't have to punch the info in like I did with Wife 1.0 ............................

[FPV8U]

Well done...

[divine_afg]

Fully sik................... mate
i love it ROTFL.......................
cheers

[stiddy]

And Another..

FROM A MALE PERSPECTIVE

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I'd used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products, and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2.0 and Playboy 6.1. Successive versions of Girlfriend have proved no better.

A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 12.1 had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I upgraded to Fiance 1.0 only to discover that this product has to be upgraded to Wife 1.0. I did this largely because, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000. However, I discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakesI made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. Not only that, they then re-surfaced months later.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Hot Tongue 2.1 and Cold Shoulder 4.2.These latter products have no helpfiles and require you to try and guess the problem yourself.

Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0 bundle that came with the original system needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser Pro for new attachments, and Hairstyle Ex-press needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off.

[divine_afg]

i love it stiddy ............... fully sik again..... dont now about free sex bit " sounds harsh" ....
but install it in my programe list anyways....................