Best mate+ Sister this is my rant

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:30 PM

Well people this is my first rant but ive never had anything worthy of a rant before so here we go
My best mate/ex best mate now who shall remain nameless has been my friend for about 2 years or so recently he got kicked out of home so he was offered to stay at my place (i still live at home) till we moved out under the proviso that he was to stay clear away from my 16 yo sister i am 22 so is he here is where it gets sticky after about a month im getting a bit suss so i confront him, he denies everything saying along the lines that he would never betray my trust like that especialy seeing as we had taken him in to our home another month goes by im still suss so one day i happen to walk past his phone witch he has left so i think stuff it n have a bit of a peek neway's found some very incriminating msg's kicked him out the next day telling him if he came near again ra ra ra all that jazz. the pearentals then got involved and now the situation is as stands
*they are still allowed to date
*he's allowed back in the house (and i have to be nice to him so as a result whenever he is here i just leave)
*me and him are not friends
thats a basic rundown NOW here's the kicker the boyfriend now makes my sister feel bad/feel like it's her fault that he never see's his friends because they hang out with me and not him. but at the same time i am being made out to be a big bad monster for the way i reacted by two of my closest female friends and it affecting our friendship in short about 4 different peoples lives have been thrown into havoc and freindships under strain because one person put a lay over his friends

RG · 04-07-2006, 04:34 PM

Bad situation, I feel for you as I have been in a very similar situation involving an ex-mate and my much younger step sister. Probably best to keep clear of them when they are together and to not get involved in any arguments over it. Well try anyway.

Tiga_EL · 04-07-2006, 04:38 PM

Yup, bad situation for you there, but if your parents are ok with it then i guess you cant do much. Shouldve employed the baseball bat when ya had the chance lol jkz

Sourbastard · 04-07-2006, 04:39 PM

When i read the thread title, I had assumed he was screwing his own sister.... this story isnt half as bad.

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:41 PM

thats pretty much how its working at the moment but lately he has just been comeing and picking her up and leaving under the guise that he dosnt feel comfortable around me now she spends most of her time at his new lodgings with a bunch of moved out 20somethings! it's not good for a 16yo

needfordspeed · 04-07-2006, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

When i read the thread title, I had assumed he was screwing his own sister.... this story isnt half as bad.

LOL.

Wait till no-one but you and him are home, and then just kick the living **** through him, he should get the idea.

JC · 04-07-2006, 04:42 PM

What's the problem. She's legal. How are people supposed to meet if not through friends/friends families etc. Should we all meet through the internet or something. At 22, I tihnk you still have a lot of growing up to do - just for interests sake, what's the age difference between your parents? 6 years is nothing. Now, if your sister was 15....different story.

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiga_EL

Yup, bad situation for you there, but if your parents are ok with it then i guess you cant do much. Shouldve employed the baseball bat when ya had the chance lol jkz

Parents arnt ok with it their just allowing it as not to drive it underground and to make sure she still spends time here witch isnt happening

xbcool · 04-07-2006, 04:47 PM

you shouldnt be looking at someone elses phone

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JC

What's the problem. She's legal. How are people supposed to meet if not through friends/friends families etc. Should we all meet through the internet or something. At 22, I tihnk you still have a lot of growing up to do - just for interests sake, what's the age difference between your parents? 6 years is nothing. Now, if your sister was 15....different story.

it would be a different story if she was 20 and he was 26 she would be alot more mature then and not still just a girl i would still have a problem with it just not as bigger problem and i'll put this to you is if he if willing to go behind and lie to his best mate (and we were close as anything) for the best part of 2 months then isnt it only a matter of time before he will do itr to her?? dont get me wrong people im not trying to run her life but this is just wrong

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbcool

you shouldnt be looking at someone elses phone

probly not but i had a hunch and i was right fact is he shouldnt have been sleeping with my 16 yo sister behind my back whilst living under my roof

xbcool · 04-07-2006, 04:52 PM

i can understand your anger
but shouldnt your old man be more ****ed off?

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:55 PM

yeah he is but perants have talkd n decided to let it happen to avoid driving it underground i dont agree buit i cant change that desicion

xbcool · 04-07-2006, 04:58 PM

sounds like you have to grin and bear it
I hope they have been educated in STDs and kids

JC · 04-07-2006, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbcool

sounds like you have to grin and bear it
I hope they have been educated in STDs and kids

Sounds like she is too (grinning)! LOL.

Been through a similar thing with my sister, and ended up being friends with the bloke (though only 4 years difference - still, she was 16). Now they're not together, we don't even see him any more. Oh, and they had a kid, who is now 17.

Black XR6 · 04-07-2006, 05:04 PM

Hmm, tough one. But the best advice I could give you is to just support your sister. If you kick up a stink and end up taking the ridiculous advice of beating him up you will more than likely lose not only your mate, but your sister as well and a good chance of losing your parents respect along the way. If you take the mature path and support her and make it comfortable for them no matter how the relationship goes you will come out roses.

I know this advice probably isnt what you would like to hear. But really its the best course of action. Carrying on like a pork chop will neither break them up nor make your sister see your point of view. I think its time to grow up a little and let your sister do likewise.

Just my advice.

Black XR6 · 04-07-2006, 05:06 PM

Quote:

probly not but i had a hunch and i was right fact is he shouldnt have been sleeping with my 16 yo sister behind my back whilst living under my roof

Afew points here. Its not your roof. Do you know %100 they were sleeping together at that time? Its sounds like your more annoyed they did it behind your back rather than out in the open.

4Vman · 04-07-2006, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

When i read the thread title, I had assumed he was screwing his own sister.... this story isnt half as bad.

Or as good as it could have been.....

Jeeepers · 04-07-2006, 05:09 PM

Apart from your obvious dislike to the situation, I see nothing wrong with it. They obviously enjoy each other, and they are both of consenting age. My question would be, if she found someone other than your best mate in the same age group, would you have reacted the same?

gbright · 04-07-2006, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redfin

Apart from your obvious dislike to the situation, I see nothing wrong with it. They obviously enjoy each other, and they are both of consenting age. My question would be, if she found someone other than your best mate in the same age group, would you have reacted the same?

not as badly but still not well and to answer a previous question yes i do no 100% they were sleeping togeather and he was there as me guest so under my roof might not be spot on but i still pay rent and do my bit so its close enough and yeah im ****ed off they did it behind my back but i still wouldnt have liked it if it was out in the open but if it was in the open it probly wouldnt have turned into the s**tstorm it has become the one good thing is that it has opened my eyes to how much of a slimy lying untrustworthy sob he is

Black XR6 · 04-07-2006, 05:21 PM

Quote:

not as badly but still not well and to answer a previous question yes i do no 100% they were sleeping togeather and he was there as me guest o under my roof might not be spot on but i still pay rent and do my bit so its close enough

Fair enough. But if its not him it will be someone else you dont know. Apart from your disagreement with him dating your sister behind your back, is he an ok guy?

Quote:

one good thing is that it has opened my eyes to how much of a slimy lying untrustworthy sob he is

Why because he may have been too nervous to tell you something was happening and he knew you would react as you are.

At the end of the day you can kick and scream and try and do your level best to break them up and it will just make your sister want him even more. Just be happy for her and them and see how it goes.

My honest last bit of advice would be to approach the friend, tell him you over reacted to the situation and hope they are happy together. Its your best chance of salvaging both your sisters relationship and your friendship with your mate.

Either way your sister will date whoever she wants.

4Vman · 04-07-2006, 05:22 PM

Dude, he's with your sister, not your girlfriend, they didn't cheat on you, it doesnt sound bad enough to me to loose a good mate over, take a chill pill, eat some humble pie and sort it out with him..

gbright · 04-07-2006, 05:27 PM

yeah he is/was an ok guy but i dont know where to go with it now because if he is willing to betray like that what else in the future is he willing to do to help himself along??? once someone displays dirty untrusworthy behaviour you cant really trust them again and i know sis will date whoever she wants but now im more worried because of my above piont the she will get hurt because he has demonsrated that he has no problem operating behind peoples back's to acheive what he wants btw he has cheated on his last 3 girlfriends

gbright · 04-07-2006, 05:29 PM

just to get one thing stright i havnt taken nor do i plan to take any steps to try and break them up this is just an outlet for me to vent some frustration and gain a bit of a fresh perspective!

brenx · 04-07-2006, 05:35 PM

You looked at the phone. What you don't know doesn't hurt you. Your pain is self inflicted at this point in time.

Kenaz · 04-07-2006, 05:38 PM

Friends come and go, but family is forever.

I reckon you just need to support your sister mate.

XRQTOR · 04-07-2006, 05:45 PM

I know a few 16 year old's that have taught me a thing or 2, they don't look or act like they are 16. I'd presume your sister is the same, at the end of the day age isn't a big factor.

JC · 04-07-2006, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbright

yeah he is/was an ok guy but i dont know where to go with it now because if he is willing to betray like that what else in the future is he willing to do to help himself along??? once someone displays dirty untrusworthy behaviour you cant really trust them again and i know sis will date whoever she wants but now im more worried because of my above piont the she will get hurt because he has demonsrated that he has no problem operating behind peoples back's to acheive what he wants btw he has cheated on his last 3 girlfriends

So looking at his phone without his permission or knowledge, and ranting about him behind his back on a public forum makes you...what? Untrustworthy! The exact thing you accuse him of. I reckon you 2 are suited together.

04-07-2006, 07:17 PM

did not read all the posts, Family is Family, You should protect your sister. Within reason.
I tend to agree that if she is 16 and he is 22, its to old for her. at 16 she might very well be still very easily lead, and your mate/ex mate may or may not be a bad bloke it will have to be your call..

I have no idea about the arrangements or ideals your family believe in, and will not pry, but I'd personally keep an eye on him. Without being to over protective, also have you raised the issue with your sister? Look after her, FFS she's your sister.

The amount of young girls that get "messed" up because of being young and (perhaps) impressionable is large.

quick note: A friend has a 12 yr old daughter, he goes out with a woman who has a 14-15 year old son, her son was keen to ummm well.. anyway....

You have to do what you feel is right (1) for your family (2) for your sister (3) and for yourself. the rest don't matter..

Trust your instincts, if it does not feel right, tell em. (nicely without aggression).

edit: some really good advice from people that I respect on here, but when it comes to family, looking at someones phone while it might be morally wrong, Is not that big a deal.

XW Boy · 04-07-2006, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JC

So looking at his phone without his permission or knowledge, and ranting about him behind his back on a public forum makes you...what? Untrustworthy! The exact thing you accuse him of. I reckon you 2 are suited together.

what? like gbright should have to show any trust to this bloke?

As said before stay on her side mate, but as for your "friend" i'd find another because he's not worth it. Also what is wrong with all you people a 16 year old and a 22 year old? you think that this is ok? its not, she is still a child, what if she was 14 and him 20? it'd be wrong hey just like this is, i cant understand some people.